Page 89 of Darling Venom
Because if Kellan applied to Harvard, he wanted to get in. And if he got in, it meant he had a future. And if he had a future, it made digesting his decision to kill himself more difficult.
Closure.
The word bounced around in my head.
I chewed it over, wondering if either of us deserved it.
“It’s been four years, Charlie.”
“Hannah,” she corrected.
Shit.
“It’s been four years, Hannah.”
My attention drifted behind her. Charlie still had her eyes pinned on me. She could’ve waved a red bullfighting flag, and she’d be less obvious.
Then again, I doubted I was any better.
And I thought I’d escaped the spiral.
“Is she Charlie?” Hannah jerked her thumb behind her. “The girl you keep staring at.”
“No.” I was so comfortable lying, I did it even when I had nothing to gain at this point.
After today, I wouldn’t see Hannah again.
It didn’t matter whether she knew the truth.
I looked past her. Charlie was beelining toward me, gaining speed as the crowd thinned. If I stayed, there would b
e a blowup.
A confrontation.
It was as inevitable as death.
We needed to have this conversation, but I also needed to keep my sanity intact. At least until the C-section scheduled for four in the afternoon tomorrow.
Why did Kellan kill himself? Whose fault was it? Could we have done something to prevent it?
I didn’t know the answers to any of these questions.
I only knew two things:
I wasn’t ready to figure anything out. And…
Self-preservation was the first law of nature.
So, I did what assholes do.
Correction: I did what Terry always did.
I bailed.
I came to work dressed how I felt.
Chaotic.
