Page 278 of Darling Venom

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“A bottled water.”

Her brow lifted, as if to say, see?

Nodding, she returned with my order, then left me alone to stare at Galileo Playground. It was empty, except for a random lurker snuffing out a cigarette butt on Neptune.

I palmed my phone and replayed Kellan’s voicemail, something I found myself doing often.

What did it mean that Kellan asked me to look out for Charlie?

I knew what I wanted it to mean—permission to be with her.

Permission to be happy.

His blessing.

But I also knew Charlie was right. Our problems didn’t come from Kel. They came from me. I needed to learn to accept love.

I needed to lose control.

Like clockwork, Charlie arrived with Rowling. I watched her push Jonah’s daughter on the swings before planet hopping as if they were bars and she was pre-sobriety Terry.

I wondered if she knew each planet’s meaning and realized I could no longer ask. There were a lot of things I wanted to do with Charlie that I would never get the chance to.

She’d told me we were over.

And still…

I almost walked up to her.

I almost kissed her.

I almost told her I love her.

Almost.

Sammy returned with a plate of food I never ordered, setting it down in front of me. I stared at it. Looked normal enough. A pretzel. Golden dough, a little burnt, and bent in the shape of a heart with a lopsided X in the middle.

“We dehydrate the earthworms, blend them, and mix ’em right into the flour. Great source of protein.”

It might’ve been a sign I needed to get the hell out of here. Probably stop showing up in the first place.

But I didn’t.

I told myself I was fulfilling a promise to Kel. That I was watching over Charlie, just as he’d intended, in the way he’d intended.

But after reading Darling Venom, one thing became clear.

Kellan regretted missing his chance with Charlie.

I knew I would, too.

age twenty-three.

February 14th.

Today marked nine years since Kellan saved me.

Five years since he died.

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