Page 273 of Darling Venom
I could also tell curiosity was going to kill this kitty.
“How was it?” The words rushed out of her, finally.
“Beautiful. Ugly. Hard to finish.” I sat on Saturn because it was the closest planet to her. “I’ve hit rock bottom.”
“Rock is one of the best foundations to build on. But it won’t be with me.” She was back to pulling her leg.
I wondered when she’d started the habit again.
Funny how I only now realized that she’d stopped.
I moved off Saturn to comfort her, but she jerked back. It dawned on me that Charlie was not mine anymore.
Not mine to comfort.
Not mine to love.
“I can’t love you, Charlotte.”
The words ripped out of me.
She sighed, shaking her head. “You tried to tell me that in so many ways. I finally believe you.”
I felt, for a moment, as if I’d stepped outside my body.
Or maybe died a little inside.
“It’s the truth,” I insisted. “I can’t.”
Silence from her.
“I read Darling Venom. He loved you. I can’t ignore that.”
The words did the trick.
Charlie snapped.
“How convenient for you to have read that right on the heels of our breakup. The perfect excuse. Actually, it’s not a breakup. We were never official. You wouldn’t even go to dinner with me!” This time, she came to me. With a vengeance. She halted just shy of touching me, her breaths escaping in jerks. “And you know what, Tate? You’re a real bastard for using your dead brother as an excuse not to love me.”
She turned to leave, but something stopped her.
Her hand gestured up and down the length of me. “Do you see yourself? When was the last time you slept?” It didn’t help my case that I looked like I’d spent a decade on Mötley Crüe’s tour bus. Her voice went from a boil to a simmer. “You are spiraling, and you are too stubborn to admit you need me.”
If her tongue were a bullet, she would have killed me already. It was bad enough that I hadn’t come here for closure, yet ended up having it force-fed to me with a shovel.
She was being mean.
On purpose.
It didn’t suit her, but I wasn’t in a position to tell her that. Worse, I didn’t want her to stop. My favorite thing about Charlie was her ability to see past my bullshit. How fitting was it that, to the end, she stayed true to herself?
She offered me a sad smile, shaking her head. “This is not about my history with Kellan.”
“It is.”
“No, it’s not. It’s about your fear. Your inability to lose control. You’ve always been the person others depend on, and now it’s your turn to depend on me. It scares you. You don’t want to tell me you love me because you think it gives me power over you. But you’ve also clung onto me for so long, because no matter how much you try to deny it, you love me. So, you use Kellan as an excuse to stay in this limbo with me instead of saying the words we both know are true.” She paused, staring into my fucking soul. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
I couldn’t.
