Page 217 of Darling Venom
My way of answering.
And skirting the s
ubject.
“How are you so sure? Some people try and fail.”
“Because you never fail, Leah. At anything.” I bumped her shoulder with mine. “And because you’re dating Jonah, it’s serious, and he has Row.”
She sighed, biting back a smile. “You’re right. I’ve already started patches. Haven’t had a cigarette since date number two.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“It’s your turn to be happy. You gonna tell me what’s eating you?”
“Guilt. It flares up sometimes.”
“About Mom and Dad?”
“No. That flares up often, too, of course. But I remind myself they loved me. That they wouldn’t want me to hold back in life for their sake.”
“You’re right.” She bit her hair. “God, I wish I told you that sooner.”
I almost said it was okay. That she was struggling, and I held fault in this, too.
But I didn’t.
I decided to accept the apology with no conditions. I wanted to be seen, and for once, I felt like I deserved to be.
“It wasn’t okay,” I admitted.
Leah’s eyes popped wide open, like she never thought she’d see the day where I stood up for myself. But then her lips broke into a grin, and she love-tapped my waist with her elbow.
“You’re right. It wasn’t.” She shook her head, planting a hand on each of my shoulders, twisting me to face her. “What happened that night was an accident. And I should have told you that, but every time I looked at my face, I fell back into the pit of self-loathing. I haven’t been a sister to you in a long time.”
“You saved my life.” I squeezed her hand, trying my hardest not to collapse into tears. “You raised me.”
She folded me into her arms, hugging me close. I clung to her, feeling light and airy despite the heaviness of my guilt.
After a few minutes, I felt her whisper into my hair. “Where’s the guilt from, Charlotte? I’ll beat ’em up.”
“Kellan. I think I will always feel guilty about being happy when Kellan doesn’t have that same opportunity.”
I left out the other half of it.
Being happy with Tate.
It was the deepest betrayal. A hurdle I tried and failed to run around. And it wasn’t just me.
I knew Tate felt the same. Through the way he stared at me and Terry together. The way his eyes lingered on Kellan’s room each time he passed, and he turned away. The way we clicked with one another on some days, only to drift into awkward silence on others.
“Oh.” The word escaped Leah’s mouth in one gut-wrenching breath. “Oh, Charlotte. I’m so sorry.”
I knew what she meant. What she apologized for. The letter. That wasn’t okay either, but I understood. Intentions mattered. And while Leah suffered, she would never have intentionally hurt Kellan to hurt me.
She pulled back. “Tate came to see me. He yelled at me, actually.”
“He what?!”
