Page 78 of Storm
A few days passed like that and I got tired of thinking the reasons I should be blaming myself for in regards to her indifference.
I wanted to shake her. Do anything to force her to talk to me. To make her see me, recognize my presence, to give me a chance...us a chance.
My day passed seeing her in classes, ignoring me, breaking my heart every moment with her distance and silence. I couldn’t take it anymore. I went outside and stood on the open grounds as it thundered and rained heavily. Anything to help me breathe and forget about her.
During the last lecture, when I entered the classroom, shaking my wet hair, I saw Sani was sitting in her new seat, away from me in the middle row. I waited before starting the lecture, but she did not make eye contact with me. Her indifference and my continued longing towards her were getting on my last nerve. Why couldn’t I ever be ignorant towards her? Why couldn’t I ever forget her?
As the lecture continued, I saw Rose and Sani were discussing something in low voices and Rose was giggling...All this, while I had been teaching. Sani did not even shrug her off.
It irked me thinking that Sani was enjoying her life, going on normally with it, while being so cold towards me. As if, I did not exist. I felt like she had time for anyone and everyone except me. Looking at her made me lose my temper due to all the pain I had been feeling.
Slapping the book on the desk, I came around the podium, “I'm teaching here, and you people are busy amongst yourself! Do you guys think I will gain something by taking this class? Sorry to let you know but I will be paid even if I don't.” I yelled at the class while looking only and only at Sani.
Because I was, mad at her alone. And due to her sitting in the middle of the classroom no one realized my gaze was firing on her.
I grunted sternly,
“What do you people think of yourselves?! You all think you are doing me a favour by attending this lecture?! If you want to talk and disturb, then get out. I'm not cracking jokes here or recounting my love story!” Sani looked at me sharply. It was the first time she had looked at me in days.
I went on undeterred, meeting her stare, “I'm doing none of these things. Rather I'm trying to explain you all an important topic that might come up in your exams, which you need to learn if you want to graduate this year. But you people don't even have the decency to listen to what I'm explaining for your own benefit! You guys are just busy with your rubbish talks.” I blasted at the top of my lungs and the lecture ended.
21-DO YOU LIKE ME?
Sani
‘How in the freaking hell, could Aariz dare to insult me?! Sure, he was yelling at the whole class, but his eyes were on me. It did not take an expert to figure out I was the target, just because Rose could not keep her trap shut while Aariz taught us.’ I cursed the situation.
I was determined not to take the blame, ‘Damn it! If he noticed, couldn’t he see it was her fault and not mine?! I never disturb him in class. He knows that. Yet, always...always he lashes out at me alone. Now I know there is no liking or anything there. In fact, Aariz freaking hates me! But why? What have I ever done? This time I won't bear this. I want my answers.’
Following Aariz out of the class, I saw him entering the staff room. I waited a beat before knocking on the staffroom door. Aariz sat there talking to Professor Gracie. My blood boiled every time I saw them together around campus. But right now, I could not have cared less. On my knock, Aariz turned and our eyes met through the glass door. Before I could go inside or call for him, he stood up and came out. Then without sparing me a glance, he passed me to go upstairs.
His office was on the fourth floor. Thinking he might have gone there, I hardened myself and went up too.
Knocking once, I opened the door, entered without waiting for Aariz’s permission, and found him sitting behind his desk, clutching his forehead. He glanced up and his face turned colder if that was even possible.
“What do you want?” Aariz asked crisply.
Facing him now, all my resolve broke.
Hence, as I tried to speak, my voice cracked due to muffled sobs,
“I had not done anything wrong today. Rose just had something to say to me. But of course even if half the class might have been doing that, you would have shouted at me alone, isn’t it?” I stared at him in betrayal.
Aariz immediately stood up and came around his desk, just a few steps away from me.
In a softer and less of a gruff voice he stated,
“I yelled at the whole batch Sani. Not just at you and...”
I stopped him mid-sentence, pouting to restrain my sob,
“No! You were looking at me alone while shouting. If you felt I was disturbing, then you could have said so and I would have explained to you that I had not said a word to Rose. She was the one who had a lot to say about you.” I shook my head defeated, “But no, you simply yelled, and insulted me.”
He opened his mouth to object but I beat him to it,
“It felt like an insult because you were looking at me alone while scolding! I know you were angry only at me.” I shivered, while trying to absorb my cries. I guess the fever was coming back.
Concerned and conflicted expressions crossed his face, as he lifted his hands, taking a step near me; then again, let his hands fall to his sides.
