Page 136 of Storm
Trying not to sound exasperated, I emphasized with clenched teeth,
“When we can't help pissing someone off unintentionally and still don't wanna hurt them.”
Grandpa closed the book and sighed at me, “Explain to that person, why you are doing, what you are doing, before they get hurt.”
“Umhmm...” I nodded making my way towards my bedroom while thinking,
‘If telling him the reason was that easy...’
God...why did I ever fall in love? Keeping the other person's feelings and emotions in mind all the freaking time is so complicated!
Why oh why did I ever...?! Arrggg!
I could already predict this wasn’t going to be the first time I will question myself about it.
I wanted to call Umber, but I didn’t know from where to start telling her about Aariz.
I had forbidden Aariz from telling anyone at all, including Zee, which even I did not know why I had done. Was it just because I believed they would judge me as he is my Professor or due to the lingering fear inside of me that something bad was gonna happen and the best thing in my life, that is Aariz, was gonna leave me, or we’d be separated due to the circumstance or something. I believed such dreamy happiness never lasts.
I hated to see the sympathy in anyone's eyes for me. Ever. So I wouldn’t be able to bear it from my cousins, with the look they won't really word, but will just think for sure, ‘you dug your own grave.’ or ‘what did you expect, dating your Professor? A wrong relationship!'
Yeah, I had been feeling down lately because of my continuous guilt for hurting Aariz knowingly yet unintentionally. And today I felt completely lost. He did not text me even once all day since I came home. He hadn’t even dropped me home today, making some excuse about work. I knew it was an excuse because I had seen the betrayed look on his face.
So that’s why I was preparing my explanations for the worst, when I entered Aariz's office next day during lunch break.
“What happened? Why do you look so pissed?” I asked hesitatingly as I went near Aariz's chair, while he furiously tapped on his laptop.
Aariz abruptly got up from there, not even making eye contact.
“Me, pissed at you?! Of course not Sani. I have no right to get angry on you.” Aariz bit out sarcastically with his back to me.
Oh no, he really has seen me today as well.
“Don't say like that, please.” I tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but couldn’t bring up the courage to do so.
“Look, I know since this morning you have seen me with Sahil many times. In fact, all the time. Also, from last two three days you must have seen me with Sahil and his friends around the campus. And you can't understand why I was with them? Am I right?”
Gulping hard, I smiled slightly as I continued, “Well, I was going to tell you about it. Actually I was talking to them because...”
But I was cut off midsentence by Aariz, who turned around sharply and came extremely close to my face making me gasp.
“Enough! I don’t want to know anything. I love you and you just can’t let me!” Breathing harshly, he nodded, “I get it. Do what you want.” With that, Aariz stormed out leaving a shocked and blown me behind.
In the evening, unable to take it anymore, I called him up. He thankfully answered but didn’t say anything except the grunt of affirmation, when I asked if he could meet me in an hour, telling him where to come.
“Are you still mad at me?” I gazed at Aariz timidly
He did not answer. Just kept looking at the waves. We were sitting on the beach, where we had come for our first date.
“I'm not going to make any promise that I won't meet those boys or interact with them while in college.” I started tentatively, gauging his reaction.
He did not let me go on.
“I haven’t asked you for any promise Sani. Do whatever the hell you like!” snapped Aariz.
I flinched a little at his anger. Still went on,
“Just hear me out first. I won't make any such promise b...”
