Page 59 of Winning Back His Wife
Sarah had never felt like such a part of a community, of a family, until tonight. She’d loved every single second of being at the Willinghams’ house, from eating dinner to helping Kendall with her volcano model to holding Tyler with his ever-sticky hands. For the first time in Sarah’s life she’d wondered if she could be a good wife and mother in spite of her past.
Sadness trembled down her spine. Too bad Hood Hamlet wasn’t her community. She would never have a family with Cullen here. She swallowed a sigh. “Anyone would have helped.”
“But you did.”
She shrugged off her jacket. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about this.”
“The last time you were around kids, you looked like you wanted to run and hide.”
Easter. The right sleeve got caught on her cast.
Cullen removed it for her. He hung the jacket on the hat tree by the door. “Tonight was the antithesis of that.”
Sarah crossed her left arm over her chest and rubbed her cast. “Tonight was more real than Easter with your family.”
With his hand at the small of her back, he led her into the living room. “Easter was real.”
She sat on the couch, and he sat next to her. “Okay, it was real, but everything was scheduled with military precision. We moved from one thing to the next without having a chance to enjoy the moment. No chance to catch our breaths. No time to think about anything. I understand now that’s the whole purpose of the holiday being so over-the-top. The day is so jam-packed with things Blaine doesn’t have a chance to enter your minds.”
He rubbed his palms on his thighs as if drying them off. “I told you it’s a coping mechanism.”
“Yes. But remember, I hadn’t a clue then.” She needed to get this out, if only for her peace of mind. “All I saw were little kids who wanted to play with their Easter baskets and eat candy, not do crafts, be forced into organized games and march in a parade. I mentioned it to your mom, who snapped at me. Your sisters jumped all over me, too.”
His nostrils flared. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You never wanted to talk about anything.” Sarah kept her voice low and steady, even though her emotions and stomach churned. “Why would this be any different?”
“I...” He hung his head. “It’s probably too late to apologize.”
Sarah touched his hand; his skin was rough and calloused and warm. “It’s okay. Addiction does crazy things to people, and this is how your family deals with what happened to Blaine. But it would have been easier knowing going in, and it would have saved a lot of heartache.”
He nodded. “I’m not one for doing a lot of talking.”
“You had no problem talking to me in Las Vegas.”
“Vegas was different.”
“Yes, it was.” Those two days had been a fairy tale. But once back in the real world, they couldn’t sustain the fantasy. “It was easy there. We could be what each other needed. Back in Seattle, not so much.”
His eyes darkened to a midnight-blue. “That’s—”
“The truth.”
Cullen didn’t say anything, but his chin dropped.
A nod of agreement? She couldn’t be sure.
“We’re been doing better now,” he said. “Talking. Trying.”
“Yes, but this isn’t real. I mean, I’m still recovering. It’s almost like I’m on vacation.”
“Like in Red Rocks.”
Disappointment squeezed her heart. She nodded. “But you’re not on vacation. You’re home. I realized Hood Hamlet’s real appeal to you tonight.”
Cullen’s gaze met hers.
Sarah’s pulse skittered.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“The community, the people. They’re one big extended family. You take care of one another and have each other’s backs, like your sisters had your mom’s with me. Or Leanne wanting to know about our marriage.”
“Or Hannah and Carly mentioning the volcano observatory in Vancouver wasn’t that far away.”
Sarah’s mouth gaped. “They didn’t.”
“They sure did.” Cullen sounded amused. “Much to Garrett and Jake’s dismay.”
“No wonder you found your way back to the kids and me.”
“I was afraid to stay in the living room any longer.”
She laughed.
“Maybe I should have listened to what they had to say. Because they’re right about one thing.” He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You belong here.”
Her heart stumbled.
“In Hood Hamlet,” he continued.
Sarah thought he was going to say with him. Hoped he would. But he didn’t. She ignored the disappointment. “I live in Bellingham. MBVI is there.”
