Page 202 of Bend
"Big plans for the birthday girl?" he asked, giving me a sexy wink.
"Naw," I said, not looking away from my computer screen. "Dinner out with the roomies. They insisted."
"Did they now?" he asked, quirkin
g a brow, and getting a bit of a devilish grin going.
Really dude?
What's up with that look?
"Is there something you want to say, Darin?" I asked, giving him a slight glare.
"Just wanted to wish you the best on this special day," he said, walking away. "You've been looking great, by the way."
I contemplated his curious behavior. I mean, I was so over all of the bullshit that I'd encountered with him, having chalked it up to "That's life" and gone on my way, hardly giving it much thought anymore. I certainly didn't confide in him—or anyone for that matter—about my relationship with Cain and Eli. I wasn't the chatty type about my personal life; I never had been.
It dawned on me that Darin, with his "you’re looking great" compliment just might be trying to rekindle something with me, and if that were the case, he was definitely barking up the wrong tree.
These past couple of months with my guys had been an experience for me, and not one that I'd likely ever want to part with.
I mean sure, there had been feelings within me that were confusing at times; little pangs of jealousy on the nights that I had opted to sleep in my own room (mainly to get a good night's rest due to Eli's snoring) when I'd hear the familiar headboard banging against the wall.
I had realized that they were going on without me, and yes, I had felt a bit jealous and insecure about that, I'll admit.
But then I had thought it through, and had realized that if I'd gotten up and went into their room, they would've immediately welcomed me into their bed, and made love to me so hard that it would've taken my breath away, as always. So, I had reminded myself that it had been my choice, and not theirs, to sit this one out.
The only other aspect of it that still bothered me a bit was the fact that I knew I was head over heels in love with Cain. You see, I lay awake one night and totally dissected the dynamics of my relationship with these men.
And here's what it boiled down to: we were all in love with one another and the depth of each person's love couldn't possibly be measured. I might've been a bit more in love with Cain; Eli might've been a bit more in love with Cain, but I was fairly certain that Cain was in love equally. And maybe that's exactly what was needed to make this all work out.
But what about long term? How could this possibly work out long term if it continued being kind of lopsided like that, I had wondered?
And even if it did work out well, what then? I had to think about my future, and I guess on one's birthday, there was a tendency to do just that.
I mean, somewhere in my future I knew that I wanted children. Marriage wasn't mandatory for that to happen, so at least that wasn't an issue.
I felt my eyes roll with my thoughts. Here I was, presuming things that I had no right to presume only two months into this…relationship.
My thoughts and reflections were interrupted when my cell vibrated on my desk. It was Trace.
"Hey," I greeted him.
"Happy Birthday, lil' sis," he replied, very cheerfully.
"Thanks," I replied, smiling into the phone.
This was the first we'd spoken since New Year's Day when I had groveled. I had called him back that evening and told him to never mind, that I was staying put for now. Blessedly, he hadn't asked for any detail. He'd probably just been relieved that I wasn't moving in. Things were still a bit uncomfortable. I had decided that the next move would have to be my brother's, and I was glad that he'd made the move.
"So, do you have plans for dinner tonight? Lindsey and I would love to take you out if you haven't made other plans. I probably should have called sooner, I know."
I was silent for a moment, not quite sure how I should respond. "Well, Eli and Cain planned on taking me out to dinner tonight for my birthday."
"Hmm," he responded, "How about if Lindsey and I join the three of you?"
Shit.
"I'm not sure what restaurant they had in mind," I replied slowly, "But I guess I could find out and give you a call back?"
