Page 233 of Bend
“Prospects are good, but I need time to get to know you better.”
“Anywhere in that conversation, did you order me a pastor?”
“Just one?”
“Yes. Just one.”
“They’re small.” He made a circle with his hands, smiling like an old grandma talking to her granddaughter about being too damn skinny.
I pinched his side, and there wasn’t much to grab. It was hard and tight. “One,” I said, trying to forget that I’d touched him.
We sat at a long table. A few trucks were breaking down for the night. There was a feeling of quiet and
finality, the feeling he and I had outlasted the late nighters and deep partiers. I finished my taco in three bites and turned around, putting my back to the table and stretching my legs.
He took a swig of his water and touched my bicep with his thumb. “No tattoos?”
“No. Why?”
“I don’t know. Mid-twenties. Musician. Lives in Echo Park. You need tattoos and piercings to get into that club.”
I shook my head. “I went a few times, but couldn’t commit to anything. My best friend Gabby has a few. I went with her once, and I couldn’t decide what to get. And anyway, it would have been awkward.”
“Why?” He was working on his last taco, so I guess I felt like I should do the talking until he finished.
“She was getting something important. On the inside of her wrist, she got the words Never Again on the scars she made when she cut herself. I couldn’t diminish it by getting some stupid thing on me.”
He ate his last bite and balled up his napkin. “What happened that made her try to commit suicide?”
“We have no idea. She doesn’t even know. Just life.” I wanted to tell him I’d found her, and been with her in the hospital, and that I took care of her, but I thought I’d gotten heavy enough. “I have a piercing, though,” I said. “Wanna see?”
“I can see your ears from here.”
I lifted my shirt to show him my navel ring with its little fake diamond. “Yes, it hurt.”
“Ah,” he said. “Lovely.”
He touched it, then spread his fingers over my stomach. His pinkie grazed the top of my waistband, and I took in a deep gasp. He put a little pressure toward him on my waist, and I followed it, kissing him deeply. His stubble scratched my lips and his tongue tasted of the water he’d just drunk. I put my hands on his cheeks, weaving my fingers in his hair.
It was sweet, and doomed, and pointless, but it was late, and he was handsome and funny. I may not have been interested in having a boyfriend, but I wasn’t made of stone.
When Little Moustache had to break down the table, we had to admit it was time to go. The sky had gone from navy to cyan, and the air warmed with the appearance of the first arc of the sun.
We got to his car before he had to feed the meter. We didn’t say anything as he pulled into the parking lot at the Stock and went down two stories to my lonely Honda, sitting in the employee section. I opened the door with a clack that echoed in the empty underground lot.
“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll probably see you at the hotel sometime.”
“We can pretend this never happened.”
“Up to you.” He touched my cheek with his fingertips, and I felt like an electrical cable to my nervous system went live. “I wouldn’t mind finishing the job.”
“Let’s not promise each other anything.”
“All right. No promises,” he said.
“No lies,” I replied.
“See you around.”
