Page 171 of Bend
Oh dear Lord.
The bride and groom had to have a combined weight of over six hundred pounds. The rest of the wedding party wasn't far behind. Thus the reason for the 7-tiered wedding cake, I presumed.
Music streamed through speakers placed around the room from a Spotify playlist of traditional love songs for weddings. I watched as the bride and groom interacted with one another and their guests. I hadn't realized that Cain had come up behind me as I released a wistful sigh.
"Something wrong?" he asked, placing his hands on my shoulders, startling me a bit, and then massaging them back into relaxation.
I shrugged, and then nodded slightly. "Look at them, Cain," I said softly, "Their love for one another is so beautiful and, I don't know, it kind of makes them look beautiful to me, you know?"
"Well who would've thought that our Paige was such a closet romantic?" he teased. "Wait until I share this with Eli."
"Oh stop," I said, smacking him playfully. "I've got no ax to grind with romance; romance just seems to have an ax to grind with me, I guess."
"Why would you say that?" he questioned, pulling me around to face him. "Is this about that fucking idiot, Darin?"
His eyes were once again piercing through me. Cain was so freaking intense sometimes that it gave me chills. I shivered, and his hands were quick to rub my back and shoulders gently, but he was still waiting for an answer.
"No—it's not about him," I replied. "It's more about me. I mean, is there something about me—some sort of repulse pheromone I'm giving off? Never mind—you aren't exactly the demographic I'm looking for anyway."
Shit.
I saw the fire flash in his eyes at the comment. I hadn't meant it like that…exactly. I mean, what the hell? Posing a question like that to a gay dude wasn't exactly fair, was it?
"Outside, now," he ordered, taking me by the arm and pulling me alongside of him. "You and I need to take a break."
Once outside, Cain found a concrete bench off to the side of the church, in a grassy area that had a statue of the Blessed Mother behind it.
"Sit," he ordered.
I sat down, waiting for him to take a seat, but he remained standing.
"First of all, sweetheart, you need to shed some of your pre-conceived notions about alternative lifestyles. Contrary to what you seem to think, homosexuals and bisexuals all don't fall into one neat little category that is black and white, okay?"
I nodded, and started to speak, but he raised his hand, his index finger pointing at me to remain quiet.
"Secondly, you've been with Eli and me long enough that we've both seen what you're doing. We've discussed i
t amongst ourselves, to be honest."
I quirked an eyebrow, hoping like hell that he intended to clue me in on their assessment.
"Paige," he sighed, "You are bright and beautiful and sexy as fuck, don't you get that? But—what we see in you is the need you have to treat men as either total sex objects, with which to pleasure yourself at leisure—and granted, this information is second-hand from Darcy through Lindsey, but when you do try to focus on something more substantive, you select the type of guy that isn't game for anything but leisure sex. And that is first-hand knowledge from our own observation. Baby, you seem to set yourself up for failure all around."
I was thoughtful for a moment, reflecting upon his words, knowing that he was onto me. Eli too. They hadn't been fooled one little bit. I was a hot mess.
"So, babe, to answer your question in there? No. You're not putting out some 'repulse' pheromone. And whether I'm bisexual or not, I would know, just as Eli knows, you simply need to put yourself out there to the right guy and there won't be a doubt in that pretty little head of yours when it's right."
"You're bisexual?" I asked, swallowing hard. "I mean…does Eli know?"
He threw his head back and I heard his deep, rich laugh, something that was rare with Cain. "Oh yeah, he knows. He's fine with it. Well, he's maybe more than fine with it, to be honest."
My eyebrows once again traveled up my forehead.
Cain continued, "Eli's bisexual as well—or maybe I should say he's a closet bi," he said, giving me a wink.
"It kind of came out in 'couples therapy,' and I swear to God if you tell him that I mentioned couples therapy, I'll fucking hunt you down," he warned, giving me a faux stern look.
"Really? Couples therapy?"
