Page 128 of Cockpit
“Yeah. That kind of people.”
“I love you, honey, but I call bullshit. Are you really going to tuck that pretty little tail of yours between your legs and run away without a fight?”
“I did fight, Rissa. I tried. You can’t make someone love you in return.”
I love you, Sidney. I can hear his voice. I can feel his lips. I can feel his love.
And yet . . . he won’t ask me to stay.
“He loves you, all right. He’s just scared,” she says, and I whip my eyes up to look at her. “Anyone who has ever been within a ten-foot radius of the two of you has seen it. Why do you think rumors still fly even though you two go through painful steps to look like you’re not seeing each other? Hell, just the way he walks by here and then stands in front of that window, waiting for you to look his way for a whole five seconds’ worth of eye-fucking tells me all I need to know.”
“Well.” I cough out the word, a little surprised by her vernacular. I’m also vaguely saddened that it’s obvious to everyone else how Grayson feels about me but he can’t see it himself.
Correction. He can see it. He just doesn’t want to believe it.
“So, that’s it? The girl who came here with the determination to do whatever it took to fulfill herself professionally and win the Haute job is just going to lie down without a fight and not fulfill herself personally?”
I look out the window she was just referring to and blink away tears. It’s been two days since I’ve seen Grayson. The bittersweet last kiss still burns on my lips. The feel of his arms around me still makes me want more. Yet, he made it very clear that I wasn’t fulfilling any personal wants with him.
“He thinks I only want to stay here because I’m here. That once the idea settles, then I’ll want out, and if I want out—”
“Then he’ll be the one in the crosshairs to get hurt again.” She shrugs. “This town does have a way of being all-consuming. Everyone is everywhere, and so you kind of eat, breathe, and live it.”
I’m not ready to hear her say that. I’m not ready to hear anyone tell me that Grayson might be right.
“I think I just need a bit of space, Riss. I need some clarity. I’m wondering if being here made my world that much smaller and, in turn, my feelings for him that much stronger. Did I put up with being on the down low because I wanted to be, or because I’m so removed from my real life that I compromised what I deserve?”
Even as I say it, I know it’s just another excuse to soothe my bruised heart.
She chews her lip as she stares at me. “How about: this whole contest thing screwed with perspective and made you have to be incognito together, and maybe you should stick around till after it to see what happens between you then?”
“Perhaps.”
“But you aren’t going to stay, are you?”
“There were never plans made for me to stick around after the contest.”
“There never was a Grayson in the picture either.”
I sigh, hold her gaze, and see the disappointment in her eyes. “I’m going to go home for a bit. Gain that distance. Then I’ll be back for the party you planned.”
“How did you know about that?” She at least has the decency to look shocked that I know.
“Seriously? This is Sunnyville. Should I assume you’re having a party here in Sunnyville and have invited all of the final five because you’ve acquiesced and know that Grayson is going to win so you want him to be in front of his hometown crowd?”
Even after all of this, I still want him to win.
She quirks a brow. “The party is for everyone and is nearby because of the office . . . and maybe to thank the townspeople for all of their support—”
“Sounds a little biased to me.” I wink and smile as best as I can.
“Maybe it is, but that man . . . he’s a trophy all in and of himself. Besides, why would you think he’s going to win? Have you peeked at the stats?”
“I haven’t had time to.” It’s a partial truth. I haven’t looked at the numbers in a few days—since our hangar date to be exact—because I was trying to gain a bit of distance for my heart’s sake. The last time I did though, Grayson was well in the lead, but things could have changed.
“Good. I’ll change your password then so you can’t look.”
“What?” I say through a laugh.
