Page 71 of Combust (Everyday Heroes 2)
Now, let’s hope they can turn a blind eye to mine.
“Your family is incredible.” My grin hasn’t faded since we pulled away from the lake house and started our trip home. Neither have my thoughts. After watching Grady play with Luke and seeing how good he was with him, all I keep thinking about is how much Grady is going to miss by not being a father.
And of course, I’ve thought of every way imaginable to broach the subject again with him, but for what? He’s been through hell and back. He has concrete reasons for his opinions. There’s no way anything I say will change his way of thinking.
“You and Luke get along really well.”
“He’s a good kid,” Grady says. “I don’t know how Grayson made a kid that cool, but he definitely must have gotten those genes from me.”
“Oh, please. It’s obvious you’re good with children. I hope I’m not overstepping when I—”
“Don’t go there,” Grady warns, and before I can respond—apologize—for doing what I told myself I wasn’t going to do, the scanner interrupts me.
I wait for Grady to turn the sound down as he typically does, but this time, when his fingers are on the button, they don’t move. Codes are being given left and right and despite the dispatcher’s calm demeanor, I can tell she’s unsettled.
“Everything okay?” I ask when his arm tenses.
“Yeah. Sure. Fine.” His answer is distracted at best, and the easy-going banter we’ve enjoyed the entire drive home dissipates.
He pulls into the driveway and stares at me. His jaw is set. His shoul
ders are square. His hands keep flexing on the wheel.
“Hop out. I’ve gotta take a drive.”
“Is everything okay?” I ask for a second time, knowing in my gut it isn’t.
“Feed Petunia for me. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”
I climb out of the truck and turn back to stare at him through the open window, but he only looks behind him as he reverses and drives off without another glance.
“He forgot his phone.” Grant is standing in the doorway to the house with his hand extended and Grady’s cell in it.
“Thanks. He isn’t here, but I’ll give it to him when he gets back.”
“Where’d he go? You guys couldn’t have left five minutes before us.”
“I don’t know. There was a call on the scanner, and Grady said he had to take a drive.” Grant swears under his breath and sighs. His reaction makes me uneasy. “What is it?”
“The one time Emerson convinces me to turn it off.” He laughs, starts to speak, and then stops. He runs a hand through his hair with the same mannerism that his brother does and it makes me smile. “He’s having a rough go of it.” I can tell it pains him to tell me, almost as if he’s betraying his brother by talking about it with me.
“You’re the second or third person who has used that phrasing.” Damon, Desi at the grocery store, and now Grant. “What exactly does a rough go of it mean? What am I missing?”
He twists his lips and then continues. “The guys at the station are worried about him. We’re all worried about him, in fact.”
“But he told me he agreed to do the calendar. It’s a step in the right direction, isn’t it? It shows he’s coming to terms with his burns?”
“It is, a big one for him personally, but it’s the scars we can’t see that are worrying me. One of his crew, Bowie, called me a few weeks back. He said Grady isn’t engaging on the job. If there’s a fire, he can’t bring himself to breach the building.” My heart falls. “Bowie said he’s fine on medical calls but show up at a hot scene, and he freezes.”
“Which doesn’t instill any confidence in the guys,” I conclude and then think back to Grady’s rejection of whatever meeting was going on at the station yesterday. The exchange with Veego. I thought Grady’s unexpected request to take me to the station was to get back at Jett . . . and now I wonder if it was to prevent them from pulling him into a confrontation he didn’t want to have. It all makes sense now, and I grieve for Grady. “I was there the other day. I thought it was just about the calendar.”
“He’s too proud to let anyone know he’s having trouble.” Grant’s concern for his brother is so real. It’s almost as if he’s trying to wear the burden to carry it for his brother.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I wish I knew, but all I can think of is that he needs more time. I don’t know. None of us have been through this before. I wish there was a way to help ease the survivor’s guilt or else when he actually gets the nerve to walk back in the fire, I fear he’s going to be looking for punishment.”
“He’s punished himself enough.”
