Page 70 of Combust (Everyday Heroes 2)
“Little Dylan grew up with a distrust of firefighters—and men in general. As you can see with Jett, she had every right to feel that way.” I hate that my voice swells with emotion I can’t hide. Grady notices, and it has him slowly swinging his eyes my way.
“Your brother is obviously good now, married and happy with the twins. I know how you are. What about your mom?”
I focus on my fingers where they pick at the paint on the dock. I feel embarrassment all these years later when I have to talk about my mom. “She’s on her who-knows-what-number stint in rehab.” My voice is quiet, my disappointment in her always present.
“I’m sorry, Dylan. I didn’t know.”
“How could you? It’s not something I’m proud of or like to admit. And it’s definitely something I’m sick and tired of footing the bill for . . . but it’s my mom. What am I supposed to do, walk away?” I shake my head and try to push the emotion from my voice.
He makes a noncommittal sound. “Just another reason why you can’t walk away from this album, right?”
“Mm-hmm,” I murmur, grateful he connected the dots between the money and my need to stay beyond making a name for myself.
The two of us slip into a comfortable silence as the others frolic in the distance, their laughter reaching our ears and making me feel even sadder for some reason when I should be anything but.
“I’m sorry for what your family went through, but not all guys are assholes.”
“True.” The word is measured, and yet anyone hearing it will know I don’t truly believe it.
“And not all firefighters abandon their families. Plenty of guys have a good solid relationship and are successful at it.”
“And where do you fall?” I ask, desperate to turn the conversation off me and onto him.
Now it’s his turn to flinch, his feet hesitating mid-swing. I’ve hit a nerve. “I’m a different situation altogether.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you going to be the forever bachelor?”
“Yes, but not for the reasons you think.”
“You lost me,” I say with a laugh because he isn’t making sense.
“I’m not afraid to settle down because I’ll miss the single life. It definitely has its perks . . . as you can see, I come from a close-knit family. Don’t tell my mom, but I’d love to be a dad and give her those grandkids she nags me for, but I can’t . . .” His words are followed by a sigh that holds so much sadness and grief it’s almost palpable. “After Drew’s death, I watched Shelby lose every part of herself while trying to be strong for Brody. Having Brody ask me when I’m going to bring his dad home from the station. I just . . . I can’t knowingly be with someone, have a child with someone, and then continue to risk myself every time I get a call.”
“But they’ll know it’s a possibility too. They’ll walk into a relationship with you knowing your job is what you love. It’s who you are. They’ll understand and take the chance because they love you.”
I know he hears me because he nods as he looks at his feet splashing in the water, but he doesn’t respond. I don’t expect him to either. He’s been so emotionally scarred by the events of the fire and the aftermath.
“Grady! Don’t be such a pansy. Get your ass over here and let me beat you!” Grayson yells, pointing to the rope swing where he is across the shore.
Grady finally looks at me. “So, Dylan? Are you going to be confident and take that cover-up off and show off those curves of yours? Or am I going to have to carry you into the water in your clothes so you have nothing to wear home that’s dry except your suit?”
“You wouldn’t dare?” I say as I push myself up from my spot on the dock as he does the same.
“Either way, I win . . . so try me.”
“It goes both ways, Malone.”
“It does, does it?” he asks, a smile slowly curling up the corners of his lips, sensing a challenge.
“Yes. If I have to wear my bathing suit, you have to take your shirt off.”
His smile falters momentarily as he angles his head and stares at me from behind his lenses. And then without saying a word, he pulls his T-shirt over his head and walks off down the dock.
“You better not chicken out on your end, McCoy. I know where you sleep at night,” he calls over his shoulder before jumping from the wooden slats to the shore and heading toward his brother.
I catch the glance his mother gives his father and the one Grayson gives to Grant right before all four sets of eyes turn in my direction.
Knowing I did that for Grady makes me stand a little taller as I follow in his footsteps on the sandy shore. They love him despite what he considers imperfections.
