“You knew I was getting married,” I remind him, and then I think about the way Cat encouraged me to wear Grey’s engagement ring during that video chat, the way Grey’s eyes flicked down to look at it. Wow. Cat knew before I did, or at least suspected something.
“I don’t mind sharing,” Grey says absently, but he isn’t looking at me. He’s just staring at the floor, his eyes shadowed and impossible to read. He means what he’s saying, but also … this isn’t just about me being knocked-up.
It’s about him finally realizing that there’s nothing romantic between us.
I don’t think he wants me the way he imagines. I just think Grey Wolfe is … lonely. He’s as alone in this world as I was the day I took that first pregnancy test and Cat started taking control of my life. Grey doesn’t have anyone he can count on except for me and Reba.
His family doesn’t love him the way a family should. And when he says he’s going to murder his father? I believe it. His brother is dead. I’m going to fucking kill his awful mother. That’s where this is coming from; I know it is.
“If you’re helping me out just because you think we might get together, then stop. I’ll have the boys smuggle you off the compound and we can start taking shots at each other like normal rival gangs.”
I almost get a slight smile at that, but when Grey turns to look at me, he’s dead serious.
“That’s not why I’m helping you. Considering what you’ve just said to me, I’m going to presume that isn’t why you’re helping me either.” He turns back to look at the mountain of Crown’s crap in front of us. Like, what the hell does he even have up here? What is all of this? He better not be a fucking hoarder; I will dump all of his shit. Then again, the rest of the house is immaculate; this is the only stain. A private, quiet place for Crown to keep his messy heart hidden.
“I can’t have the four of them and you at the same time: they would never accept that.” I study Grey’s profile. He’s handsome, elegant, learned, well-traveled. If our plans work out, he’ll also be wealthy and powerful. Mm. You’d think all of those things would make it easy to find true love. Not the case. It’s the exact opposite.
Grey is going to have to be very, very careful with whomever he falls in love with.
“I’m having a hard enough time as it is; they’re all stubborn as fuck.” I sigh and lean my head back against the back of the chaise. It creaks a bit as Grey adjusts himself and does the same. “If you and I got together, you’d still be alone a lot of the time. I’d have to split my time between here and there. It would never work.”
He’s silent for a long moment, and I actually start to drift off. I’m that tired. Still recovering from the bullshit that went down the day of the wedding. Still healing. Still sore and comfortably used by Beast. My mouth twitches.
“Is it truly possible for a monster to fall in love?” he queries, and I consider the question seriously. Cat seems to love Nellie, and I know for a goddamn fact that he’s one of the biggest, ugliest monsters out there. “Kian did, I suppose. He found Queenie. And he was horrible, Gidget. You would’ve despised him.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind about that,” I agree, but then I remember the way Queenie held her belly and smiled in an absent sort of way, like she was happy about her baby but also about something else entirely.
“But he was different around your sister. His love for her shaped him in new ways.” Grey reaches up and rubs at his face with both hands. “Sometimes, I think I’m just trying to live his life for him. Because he didn’t get to. Because he should’ve married the club princess and been happy.”
I put my hand over my stomach, and I think about Queenie.
I think about the fact that she’s dead, and her baby is dead. Posey is dead, and Gaz is dead.
Our whole fucking family is dead.
My breath releases in a rush, but I don’t have answers right now. Anyway, I have other things I’m supposed to be doing. I need to find Crown and jump on whatever project he’s offering, just to show him how goddamn serious I am about all of this.
“We can live our own lives and still honor them. You and Reba are my best friends, my only friends.” I give a harsh, sharp little laugh. “And true friends, real friends, those are as hard to find and as rare as true love. Ask anyone. I’ve got your back. I wasn’t lying when I said that.”
