Page 174 of I Will Revel in Glory (Death by Daybreak MC 3)
“You’ll be okay,” I lie, even though I know that isn’t true. He’s going to die. I can already see blood, spreading out from beneath the pile of debris that’s collapsed on top of him. The fire’s just caught on the leg of his jeans. There’s nothing I can do. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. “You’ll be okay,” I sob, curling my hand around Cat’s as his eyes flutter open.
For the last time, we lock matching gazes.
For the very last time.
“Gidge,” he repeats as I cry as freely as I ever have before. I’m completely torn open on the inside now. There’s no going back. I can never be the cold, cynical girl that I was in the past. “I love you, baby girl.”
“Not this way,” I whisper, and I can tell I’m starting to hyperventilate. “Not this way, Cat. You can’t go this way.”
“Don’t leave me like this,” Cat chokes out, and then he coughs and blood flecks his lips. His pants are on fire. They’re on fire, so he’s on fire, and I just hope that he can’t feel anything. “Do it. You always knew … it’s always been you.”
I know what he’s asking.
But I don’t want to know.
I don’t want to do this.
Don’t make me do this!
I crawl beneath the heavy beam that’s across Cat’s back, reaching down to grab his gun from the holster on his belt, and then I slide back out. I hold the weapon in my lap, staring at it like I’ve never seen a gun in my life before.
“Do it,” Cat whispers, choking on the smoke and the blood. “Please, Gidge …”
I hate him for asking me to do this. I love him too much not to.
I bend down and press my lips to Cat’s forehead, stroking his hair back with shaking fingers.
“I love you, old man,” I choke out, tasting tears and grit and ash on my lips. “I love you so much. And I forgive you. I forgive you for everything.”
He doesn’t answer me, his eyes fluttering as he groans in agony.
I can’t let him suffer. I can’t. I can’t.
I shove up to my feet and, before I can lose my nerve, I lift up the gun … and I pull the trigger.
Someone starts wailing and screaming. It’s so loud; it hurts my ears. I just wish they would shut the fuck up.
Then I realize who that person is: it’s me. I’m the one that’s screaming.
Strong hands grab onto me, hauling me up against a broad chest. It’s Beast, I think, but I don’t care. He’s dragging me away, and I’m fighting him even though I know that I shouldn’t. There’s nothing here to fight for anymore.
“Daddy!” I scream as Beast finally chucks me over his shoulder, hauling ass out of that barn as flames rain down and my hand stretches out toward the deepest and most profound love I’ve ever felt. It was coupled with an equal amount of hate. Those two things existed—and continue to exist—simultaneously. One never could cancel out the other. “Daddy!”
“Oh God,” Sin breathes when he sees me. All around, there’s fire. The whole world is burning. I can’t tear my gaze away from that barn, watching the orange glow bathe the dark woods with perversely bright light.
“I’ve got the bikes,” Grainger says, panting from somewhere on my right. I barely care. All I can think about is what I’ve just done. How … how … No.
“Cat …” Crown starts, but I know that he knows. One need only listen to my wracking sobs to understand what’s just happened, to hear me scream daddy over and over again. “Fuck. No. No. Fuck.”
“We have to go now,” Sin says firmly, keeping hold of his emotions as an explosion sounds from behind me. I shove at Beast suddenly, and he reluctantly sets me on my feet. I turn with a tear-streaked face to see that the flames have consumed the sea of black Cadillacs. Their tires are melted to the pavement, and one of them has just exploded.
“Fuck,” I whimper, blinking through the smoke as I turn toward the guys. The fire is everywhere, all around us.
“Come, wife,” Beast whispers softly, grabbing me by the hand and dragging me along behind him. I know he’ll carry me if necessary, but I want to run. I want to run and run and run and never stop. I want to collapse and scream. I want to know why there’s blood between my legs, and I want my daddy back, and I … I have to live through this first.
We move through the trees even as I notice quite a few abandoned bikes on the road to our right. Daybreakers who don’t need them to get home because they’re never coming home. Like Cat. Like Daddy.
I shove that emotion aside, sprinting along beside my men until we get to our own bikes. Someone moved them before the flames could melt the tires.
