“You excited?” she asked him.
“About what?” He seemed really nervous.
She frowned. “About the move! The promotion!”
“Oh. Yeah. That.” He laughed, a shy sound that made her feel warm toward him. Awkward Rick was great for talking about ComicCon or the latest gamer scandal. Anything else and he shut down.
“I’d be thrilled to move up the corporate ladder.” Laura’s words were not, technically, true. She’d be thrilled to get the raise that came with a promotion, but working in management was about as much fun as watching Debbie get a Brazilian. And Laura knew exactly how much fun that was, because one day Debbie had come to work with a video of it.
Laura was perfectly fine being a middle-level Financial Analyst. One of the drones. Even her grey sweater matched the walls of her windowless office.
She blended in, and that was all fine and good. Stohlman Industries owned her soul for fifty hours a week.
They couldn’t have more.
“I’m glad, sure,” he said with a shaky sigh. “And my girlfriend dumped me last week—”
“You had a girlfriend?” Laura regretted the words instantly, knowing her surprise would make Rick uncomfortable.
He glared at her, the look filled with menace and hurt. “Hard to believe, right?”
“No! That’s not what I meant...” A burst of embarrassment and shame filled her, making her tongue tied. Why was she like this? How could she ever imagine someone like Rick—this new Rick—would realize she was just making conversation and not judging? A sense of self-loathing pounded in her veins, and all she wanted to do was flee to her office and bury herself in a spreadsheet.
Spreadsheets were safe. Spreadsheets didn’t give her uncomprehending looks, or make her feel like an idiot. If she messed up a spreadsheet she could fix it with a few clicks. Too bad men didn’t have an “Undo” button.
“Okay,” Rick said in a clipped voice, fidgeting as they reached her door. He looked like he wanted to get away as quickly as possible, like a little boy dressed up in his dad’s clothes. Laura’s keen sense of equilibrium with him was completely off, and all she wanted to do right now was get behind her desk, safely ensconced in her office, door shut.
But Rick followed her.
She faltered at her doorway, hand on the knob. “Um, you need something?” she asked, trying to smile. Please leave me alone. She was so drained from being “on”, and just wanted a break.
And it wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. This would be one long Monday.
“The staff meeting,” Rick said, all business. “I just wanted to give you the head’s up that I’ll be leaving, and you’ll get an IT contact for problems.”
“Have they hired anyone yet?” she asked, a feeling of mild dread washing over her. During crunch times, a good IT contact was worth their weight in gold. A bad one was worse than no IT help, though.
“Nope. Budget cuts.”
She groaned. “They’ll just assign me to someone who’s already overworked, won’t they?”
He gave her a cheesy thumbs’ up. He was thawing. She grinned and shook her head, ending the conversation as she shut the door and leaned up against it, closing her eyes and looking up.
Why couldn’t life be an endless stretch of time in bed with four hands on her? She snickered, letting the tension ooze out of her body, willing herself to take deep breaths until she felt okay.
Because no one pays you to do that, she told herself. Unless you’re a porn actress.
That last voice sounded suspiciously like Josie’s.
Thirty minutes later, she’d triaged her email and realized she needed a cup of coffee before heading into the meeting. Walking past Debbie’s desk, she saw the receptionist and Rick holding their respective smartphones, heads huddled, each typing.
Debbie winked at her as Laura heard Rick mention a party at a club Laura had heard of, but never been to. Debbie laughed and touched his arm, while Rick leaned in, eyes all over Debbie’s cleavage.
Good for Debbie and Rick. Get laid and have fun. For now, Laura’s sex life would exist only in her mind.
And her nightside table.
I’m never that girl, she thought as she went to the coffee station and made herself a cup.
