Page 61 of Deep (Chicago Underground 8)
“Thank you,” Adrian said, sparing me a reserved glance. Then he looked away from both of us. “I won’t deny that I sometimes felt jealousy. But I would never have acted on it. I would have just quit if I couldn’t take it anymore. I never would have endangered Ella. Or you.”
Philip still bristled with unresolved tension. He seemed to believe Adrian—at least, that had to be the case since he didn’t have Adrian up against a wall. But he wasn’t backing down either.
“Maybe you let something slip,” Philip said.
“Who would I tell?” Adrian made an impatient motion. “You’re the only person I see most days.”
Philip was right about one thing. Someone knew about his obsession with me, and someone had used it against him. And against my family. Who could have known? Shelly had been the person closest to the situation back then. Colin and Rose, Philip’s siblings, probably knew as well—but they would be even less likely to tell. They were loyal to him even if they couldn’t always stand to be around him and his controlling ways.
Adrian was the only one who would have known about the more recent events, though—about the postcards. About the stalking. I bit my l
ip, feeling like I was betraying him for just suggesting it. “What if you let it slip without realizing it? It’s known that you work for Philip. Someone could have taken something out of context and realized.”
He stared at me for a long moment. “No,” he breathed.
Except it didn’t sound like a denial. It sounded like shock.
Philip had his back against the wall in minutes, his broad arm pressed against Adrian’s throat. “Tell me.”
Adrian blinked in a kind of wordless horror. His mouth opened and closed. “There was one guy. Just a random hookup at a club, one night when I was off. I was…” A hollow laugh. “I was in a bad way. I let off some steam. Let him fuck me. Told him about…”
Philip made a growling sound and pressed harder. I ran closer and pulled at his free arm, afraid he would do something terrible in the heat of the moment. “Wait. Let him finish.”
Adrian’s eyes fell shut. When he opened them again, they were full of guilt. “I told him about this guy I wanted. This guy I loved. And how it would never happen. Why not? he asked. He’s straight, for one thing. Maybe he’ll like dick if it’s yours. He was mocking me, but I answered anyway. He’s hung up on this student at U of C. She’s young, pretty, smart, and has all the female parts.”
I flinched at that description of me, even though it was mostly complimentary. It was the bitterness in his voice. I’d never heard that in him before. He’d always been so upbeat, but I realized now what it must have cost him.
“He had your eyes. Your hair. Even the way you move.” Adrian shut his eyes, defeated, almost in prayer. “God help me, he looked like you.”
A jolt went through Philip’s body. His eyes widened in shock—a strange expression on a man usually so aware of everything before it even happened. He shook Adrian. “What did you say?”
“He looked…like you.” Adrian’s eyes were covered in a sheen of tears. “He was a little smaller. Less broad. But otherwise, he could have been your brother.”
Philip hardened. “You’ll die for this.”
“I swear,” Adrian said, looking Philip in the eye, “I never told him your name and I never told him hers. He may have found out anyway—”
“Of course he fucking did,” Philip hissed. “The bullet. Your brain. One reason not to.”
No. I pulled Philip’s arm with all my strength and didn’t move him a single inch. “Please. Please. Don’t do this. Adrian has been loyal to you. He screwed up maybe.”
“Maybe?” Philip asked sharply.
“Okay, so he did screw up. He did. But it was an honest mistake. A moment of weakness. He never would have wanted you hurt. I believe him.” And Philip didn’t want to kill him. I believed that, because it had been an honest mistake, because Adrian had been so loyal to Philip through the years.
“You could have been kidnapped, Ella. I would kill a man for less.”
I swallowed over the knot in my throat. “I know, but this isn’t just a man. It’s Adrian. Please let him go.”
There was a tense moment where Adrian looked resigned. He thought he was going to die, and I wasn’t sure he was wrong. Philip’s entire body was a weapon, straining against the leaner one in front of him. No matter that Adrian was stronger than he had appeared underneath those dapper clothes of his. He wouldn’t have the strength to fight off Philip, not when Philip was in a rage like this. I wasn’t even sure Adrian would want to. He looked miserable with shame.
Abruptly Philip stepped back, and Adrian gasped in a breath.
“Get the fuck out of my sight,” Philip said, his low voice full of menace. “Leave and don’t ever come back. If I see you again, I will kill you.”
Adrian’s hands trembled as he pulled some things from the bedside table—a wallet, keys, phone. The air was thick like quicksand, but he moved quickly, quietly, grabbing slacks, a button-down, the formality in contrast to the hurried exit. He sent me a quick glance—almost concerned, questioning—but left the room without saying a word.
Philip stood still and taut. I followed his example, barely breathing.
