I relaxed into the rocking motion as the pleasure between my legs grew. This was nothing like the sex I’d had before. It was more like a dance or even a meditation. I had no idea how much time passed, but when my legs got sore and tingly, he rolled us over.
He surged into me deeper, in an aggressive rhythm that took me faster and harder. I pulled my legs higher and curled my hands lightly on his neck, opening my body in supplication. I wasn’t an active participant any longer. I couldn’t help him or even react—I could only take it.
I came again, and this time it wasn’t in a blinding explosion but a soft wave. Not a crest but a hum of pleasure, accented with each of his thrusts.
He buried his face into the side of my neck, groaning roughly as he came. His whole body rumbled at the sound, shuddered at his release. His arms tightened their hold on my body, and his hips pushed down into me, harder, deeper—yes.
He collapsed and rolled off me. He lay faceup, eyes closed, breathing hard. Colin looked beautiful to me, then. I might have thought he was handsome before, or maybe not, but it was an objective sort of observation. Looking at him now, knowing him—it was too much.
I stumbled off the bed and into the bathroom. I felt my own wetness sticky on the insides of my thighs, but I didn’t bother to wash. I sat down on the linoleum and leaned my back against the bathtub, trying to get it together.
I’d thought his sweetness was weak, but that wasn’t true at all. He was entirely in control, treating me the way he wanted, not the way I asked for it. And more than that, he seemed to know what I needed, giving it to me despite myself.
He walked into the bathroom, still naked, and sat next to me on the cold floor. I thought it was pretty silly and not totally clean. He put his arm around me and wiped away the tears I wanted to hide. I cried quietly for who knows how long while he held me.
I knew I’d feel stupid when I came back to reality, so I held it off as long as I could. Even after I stopped crying, I kept my eyes closed and buried myself into his side.
Then his stomach growled. We wouldn’t be able to sit here forever.
I peeked at him. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wouldn’t be good. Anger maybe, or frustration, disgust, pity, or any number of bad things might be there, before he got the hell out of Dodge.
Instead his lips quirked up into a wry smile. “I’d like to see you again, but this doesn’t bode well for my chances.”
I laughed, the sound loud in the small space, because it wasn’t at all what I’d expected. It could have just been my postorgasm, postbreakdown hormones talking, but if I were honest with myself, I was already falling for him.
That didn’t matter, because I had other considerations. One, mostly, but she was enough.
“I like you,” I hedged. The disappointment that flickered in his eyes said he read my tone correctly. “But I don’t think so.”
He considered me for a moment. “Okay,” he said. “That’s not what we’re here for, so I won’t push.”
He got up and offered me his hand. In the bedroom he handed me my clothes in between putting on his own. I averted my eyes, not because I didn’t want to see, but because there was a formality between us now that we’d had sex but weren’t going to see each other again.
“I’ll drop the key off at the front,” he said. “You can finish up in here.”
“Okay.”
He turned back at the door. “Listen, I own the Oasis Grill down on Kirby, okay? In case you change your mind. Just ask for me.”
He paused and then added, “Colin.”
I hadn’t forgotten.
“Maybe,” I said with a noncommittal smile.
“Bye, Allie. Take care.”
I peered through the blinds and watched his truck leave the parking lot. So, that was that. Why did I feel a lingering sense of loss? He was a stranger to me. He had to stay that way. That’s what this night was for—dirty, emotionless sex. Though this night had been distinctly less dirty and far less emotionless than I liked.
Chapter Three
I left the motel room, my mind blissfully blank as I drove through the sleepy Chicago streets. My apartment building loomed up ahead, its gray stucco walls and barred windows making it look more like a jail than a home. In Stone Park, that was an amenity. Don’t bother breaking in, it said. You won’t find anything valuable.
Within the white walls of my apartment, I took a quick shower to rid myself of the smoky stench of the clubs and the musky smell of sex. I didn’t mind them, at least not tonight, but I didn’t allow any remnants of my monthly date nights to seep into my regular life. Colin included.
I changed into my standard uniform, sweatpants and a tee. My flip-flops slapped the concrete stairs as I ran up to the identical apartment above mine.
Shelly answered the door. Her hair and makeup were done, though she wore jeans and a tank top. She had an appointment after this.
