Page 19 of Rough Hard Fierce (Chicago Underground 1-3)
“What’s wrong?”
I sighed. “It’s nothing. Bailey’s caught some sort of bug, and I guess I’ve got it too. She’s wide awake, and I’m exhausted.” I took a deep breath, in and out.
“That doesn’t sound like nothing. What can I do to help?”
“What? Oh, no. We’re fine.” I rubbed my hand over my eyes, willing myself to stay awake. “I’m sorry. Did you need something?”
“No. I was just calling to… Well, it doesn’t matter. But it sounds like you could use a hand.”
“Nah, I’ll figure something out. I’ve done it before, you know.”
A pause, then, “Can I come over?”
I glanced at Bailey. “Uh, now? It’s pretty late…”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll just come over, and if I’m getting in the way, you can kick me out, okay?” He hung up.
The phone slipped from my fingers, as if maybe the conversation had been a dream. I drifted in a haze of discomfort as I watched Bailey use a block of Post-it notes as stickers on all the furniture.
Colin had to knock twice before I dragged myself to the door, holding Bailey. He held up a plastic drugstore bag. “I brought meds.”
A burst of pleasure at his thoughtfulness was quickly doused by my exhaustion. I took the bag from him and led him into the kitchen.
“Here, I can take her while you do that.” He reached out his hands for Bailey, but his eyes were veiled as if he expected me to refuse.
I hesitated for a moment but realized I trusted him more than that tired doctor. I handed her over, awkward because I rarely did so. He was less nervous than I would’ve thought as he set her on his hip. She gave a token fuss before settling against him.
The picture of him with her made my heart thump. Apparently Colin had a horse-whisperer effect on both girls in the Winters household.
I hid the strange euphoric feeling by dumping the contents of the bag onto the counter. I sorted through the boxes casually as if men brought me gifts of kindness and health every day. “Wow, did you buy out the store?”
“I didn’t know what you already had, so I just got everything they had.”
I opened a few to take. “You didn’t have to do this. Thanks, though. This is really great.”
“No problem. Should I put Bailey to bed?”
Bailey examined Colin with undisguised curiosity, looking no closer to sleep than she had a few minutes ago. “Uh, sure. You could try that.”
“Any specific thing she likes?”
“I usually read a few books and then sing to her. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, like tonight, I try to cuddle her back to sleep.”
“Okay,” he said and headed toward the hallway.
No one except for me and Shelly had ever put her to sleep before, and I doubted Colin had tons of childcare experience, so I wasn’t expecting success. Still, grateful for the reprieve, I leaned against the counter with my eyes closed for a few minutes.
I took a bunch of pills to help with various symptoms and then headed to Bailey’s bedroom. The door was cracked open, and I peeked inside. Bailey lay on the bed with her eyes closed.
Colin sat on the edge stroking her hair and singing. “In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees, and the voices of those who stand looking…”
Led Zeppelin! I clapped my hand over my mouth.
This big, strong man, wearing a muscle shirt and cargo pants, sang rock songs to a toddler in the middle of the night. I was so toast. Game over. And it was doubly terrifying, considering I had no idea how to make him stick around. He would leave and take his sweetness and his Pepto and our hearts.
Chapter Eight
In disgust at my own vulnerability, I stalked into the living room and started picking up Bailey’s things. How was I supposed to hold myself emotionally aloof when he was being so damn sweet? But the truth was, he might be a knight in shining armor—but I couldn’t be saved. I was too far gone for that. I’d been too far gone since I was sixteen. And now, three years later, I felt ancient.
