Page 9 of Broken Beauty (Beauty 3)
It was time, though. Time to broach the subject that could end this. End her.
“You nervous?” she asked, referring to his upcoming teaching stint in the vaguest way possible.
He kept his eyes closed, but the restless shift of his limbs gave him away. “Why? Should I be?”
No, but she was. She believed he’d be amazing as a professor, and whatever happened with her class, she would deal. But this teaching job was his first step in the direction of living again. She wouldn’t take that away from him. Wouldn’t even risk it with her presence.
“You don’t have to go through with it. If you don’t want to.”
He opened his eyes then. His expression was guarded. “No one will know we’re together,” he said flatly. “You don’t have to worry that people would judge you for…”
Her stomach clenched. For sleeping with him, because he had scars on his face.
She turned into his chest so he wouldn’t see the flash of emotion that caught her off-guard. Her heart broke a little every time he put himself down like that. And yet he had valid reasons to believe the world would care about how he looked…because the world did care. Because his fiancée had broken up with him, because his parents had mourned him as if he had died instead of lived. Because his entire career following his father’s footsteps as a senator had detonated before it even began. The world cared, and she wouldn’t lie to him.
“You know I’m not ashamed of you.” Her voice was muffled. It would be better to look him in the eye as she said it, but he might misread the sympathy there as pity. He’d already had his pride stripped from him. She’d never take what he had left.
“I’m a bad choice for you in every way, Erin, but damned if I’m going to leave you alone.”
She looked up again, feeling a sad smile touch her face. “I have to tell you something. I’m not going to graduate this semester.”
His face darkened. “What the hell are you talking about?”
When he looked angry, the mangled skin stayed frozen while the other side of his face lowered. A strange effect but an apt analogy, because part of him was frozen in that place of pain and grief while the rest of him struggled to move on.
She stroked his temple—the smooth one, because the other would just make him self-conscious. “It’s just not the right time. One more semester won’t kill me.”
He reined in his surprise. “Okay, explain it to me. What’s not right about this time?”
“I won’t have enough for tuition, for one thing. I usually do the installment plan, but I can’t count on having enough this time.” She paused, bracing herself. “Since I can’t work here anymore.”
He was silent a moment. Even when he spoke, his voice was deceptively quiet. “We’ve talked about this.”
“Yes, we did. You said it was okay to keep working here…and I disagree.”
“What’s to disagree with? You cleaned my house before we started anything. It’s not like the employment is contingent on you sleeping with me. I’ve never given you any trouble, have I? Never complained about your work.”
“That’s exactly it. Would you complain if you needed to, knowing that it would interfere with our relationship?”
He rolled his eyes. “This conversation is…it’s driving me crazy. I don’t want you to work for me, Erin. I want you to move in with me. Let me cover your last semester’s tuition. It’s not a big deal.”
She stared at him in shock. They’d never discussed her living here. For a moment she allowed herself to imagine. The beautiful, comfortable home she could come back to at the end of a school day. Reading outside on the deck, watching the wooded land behind where deer were occasionally spotted. Climbing into bed with him every night.
God, she wanted that so much. But not like this.
“Absolutely not,” she said.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not okay for you to take care of me this way. Once I’ve graduated and I have a regular job, then I’ll consider moving in. And paying for my share of things.”
“Jesus, Erin.”
“That’s not unreasonable. That’s how people do things.”
He shook his head. “I’m not your mother’s employer. I’m not going to try and take advantage of you.”
She jerked back, removing herself from him, allowing the air between them to cool her. “That’s not fair. This isn’t about her.”
