Page 6 of Broken Beauty (Beauty 3)
Her earlier words to Courtney came back to her in a sick rush. He’s not my professor. She felt like she was going to throw up all over the shiny textbooks.
In a trance, she paid for the book and stumbled outside to the curb. She stared at the loose gravel on the street, the weeds poking up between the slabs of concrete.
Courtney found her. “Hey, I looked everywhere inside.”
“Sorry.”
Her friend sat beside her. “What’s wrong, sweetie? You’re pale as…well, as I probably am right now. But that’s because my blood alcohol level is still through the roof, most likely.”
Erin forced a small smile. “It’s his class. The one he’s teaching. The one I’m taking.”
She was babbling, but Courtney got the picture. “Shit, are you serious? What are you going to do?”
Well, that was the question. Blake had signed a contract to teach this course. His reputation and professional future depended on him following through. Maybe also his sanity, considering how he’d been cooped up for so long. Not to mention all the students who would be stuck if he backed out.
And she…she needed this class to graduate. Could she put it off, wait another semester?
She hated that she was even considering delaying her graduation. Objectively she knew Blake’s situation was far more weighty and precarious. Her life would be little changed whether she graduated at the end of this summer or after the fall semester instead. But just thinking about it made her burn. She had worked too hard for this. Her mother had worked too damned hard to give her this opportunity.
Besides, she wanted desperately to be on equal footing with Blake. That could only happen once she graduated.
“Nothing,” she finally said. “I’m not going to do anything.”
Courtney stared at her. “But he’ll be your professor. Like, in the same classroom.”
&
nbsp; “I know.”
“He’ll be grading you, Erin.”
“I know. He’ll do it fairly. He wouldn’t be able to do it any other way.”
Courtney looked dubious. “I think you’re understating the persuasive power of our girl parts, but let’s put that aside for a minute. You don’t think that would be a little…I don’t know, uncomfortable? He’ll be your teacher. Don’t hate me, but it’s kind of a turn-off.”
Erin almost laughed. His position was a massive turn-on for her. They’d role played the parts a few times before. Always playful and teasing, never with any real force behind the scripted words. Even now, she imagined he would look incredibly hot standing up there, lecturing. That was one of the reasons she’d wanted him to practice on her. Except he hadn’t wanted her to see. That was the worst part. He didn’t want her to see that side of him, the real side, for one afternoon, and now she would sit in his classroom every day for six weeks. At least it was only that and not a full semester. She wasn’t sure either of them could survive three months of it.
“Look, I pushed him to do this. He didn’t want to. He did it for me. So now if he backs out and has to deal with the professional backlash, that’ll be my fault. I’ll feel horrible about that, and even if he doesn’t at first, he could wind up resenting me. Hell, he should resent me.”
“I’m resenting you a little,” Courtney offered.
“Thanks,” Erin said drily.
“Okay, but what if he just explains that there’s a conflict of interest? Surely they won’t hold it against him if he has a good reason.”
“They’d probably hold him to his contract and drop me from the class. Besides, I can’t embarrass him that way. Everyone would find out. We’ve got to keep it a secret until I graduate. Then they can say whatever they want. So that’s why I need to take this class. Sooner rather than later.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I don’t want this to be something you regret. It’s good to be wild and have great sex and all that jazz. Believe me, I know. If it were me, I’d do this in a heartbeat. I’d make dirty jokes all through class. I’d pass him notes and wear my shortest skirts in the front row. But that’s not you.”
No, that wasn’t Erin. She’d had sex in Blake’s university office, just once, and it wasn’t likely to ever happen again. She liked being wild and having great sex and all that jazz, as Courtney had put it, but she preferred it in the privacy of Blake’s home. In that way, they were well matched. He lived like a recluse, and she wanted to seclude herself with him. But the world would intrude and demand its due. And it demanded that he teach this class and she take it. Not a big ask, really. She’d dealt with worse. Hey, it could even be fun. And educational. She’d bet he was a great professor. So thoughtful and enthusiastic—and stern when it was warranted.
Oh God, the thought of him reprimanding her made her hot.
* * *
She was hiding something. Blake knew it, but he didn’t feel compelled to push her. He’d made dinner. Spaghetti wasn’t a gourmet meal, but it was a step up from takeout or pizza. He’d even dug in the back of his pantry for a bottle of wine. They were enjoying a quiet evening. She would tell him what she needed to when the time was right.
Now more than ever, he knew how much he wanted to keep her. Knew it with a bone-deep certainty. Since his visit to Joe, some of the urgency had faded. That drive to possess her, hold her like she might slip away if she weren’t clenched tightly enough. Here in the sweet current of her company, he saw things with more clarity—with a little more faith in the future.
