I’m jealous that X is upset to be broken up with Maxine?
What is wrong with me?
Actions, not thoughts. Actions, actions, actions.
“She was insistent that Dakota was lying to her, that she was in danger of some kind, that she needed her …” He trails off and my throat closes up. Oh, Maxie, I’m so sorry. You’re right, as always. Once that girl gives trust, it’s permanent and unyielding. She’ll believe in me to the very end. X huffs out a sigh and narrows his eyes, his mind clearly focused on the conflict between them. “What could I do about that? I don’t want Maxine here; you don’t want Maxine here. She needs to stay out of this shit.”
“I’m guessing you pissed her off then?” Chasm continues, eating the chips and watching my face rather than X’s. Does he know that we sort of have a weird thing between us? A thing more taboo than anything going on with him, than anything going on with Parrish. Out of the three of them, Maxx is the most dangerous, the most restricted, a literal impossibility.
Not that it matters. I’ve already let myself get twisted up in two boys. There’s no way in hell I’m adding another to my imaginary harem.
“I told her that Dakota”—here he pauses to glance my way, his green eyes dark with emotion—“sorry, but I told her you meant what you said. That you’d changed since coming here. That maybe she didn’t know you the way she thought she did.”
“Yikes,” Chas says as he grits his teeth and I cringe.
Yep. That would do it.
“One time, Maxine’s boyfriend told her I was an annoyance that he didn’t want around when they were hanging out. She dumped him and blocked him on everything; they never even spoke to each other again after that.”
That makes X smile, and the expression it just … cuts right through me. I blink past the feelings and cross my own arms. We have a ton of work to do this weekend. That, and I’m dreading tomorrow.
Not only did the Slayer make several references to Sunday, but Tess is having another huge press conference right here at the house. Most importantly: it’s day fourteen of Parrish’s disappearance.
“Your sister’s an amazing person, and I just fucked everything up for myself.” He sighs again and moves over to snatch the chips from Chasm. “Maybe she’ll stay single long enough that I can get her back after this is all over?”
“Knowing Maxine, she’ll be single for a while. She doesn’t just date anyone. She’s picky, and she falls hard, but never harder than I saw her fall for you.” I stop talking suddenly as X looks at me with an almost pained expression on his face. He looked at me that same way in the bathroom at the coffee shop when I threw my arms around him.
He feels the same chemistry that I do, and he wants nothing to do with it.
I don’t blame him; this is bad for both of us.
“You did the right thing, man,” Chasm agrees, pulling his other leg up onto the bed and wrapping his arms around his knees. Just looking at him, long and lean, inked and muscular, makes me want to crawl into the circle of his arms.
I lick my lips.
I’m supposed to be giving into my feelings, aren’t I? That’s quite literally the directive we were given. What if the Slayer or Mr. Volli is watching us even now? What if they can tell that I’m holding back?
What if I’m just trying to make excuses for my own selfish wants?
In the end, I give up and approach the bed, climbing on next to Chasm and leaning my head against his shoulder. He shudders and closes his eyes, but he puts an arm around me anyway and squeezes me tight.
X watches us with an agonized and totally confusing expression on his face.
He then grabs my Tess-phone off the dresser, holds out his palm in silent offering for my other one, and then dumps them in Parrish’s room so we can talk more privately. When he returns, he takes up his same position, one shoulder leaning against the post of my bed.
“I didn’t completely waste away last night crying over my fucked-up relationship,” he says with a slight smile, and I get the idea that he didn’t cry at all. Not because he doesn’t care about Maxine, but just because he seems to process his emotions in a different way. “I made a list of all the people who would’ve had access to the house that day, people who knew the code. If that girl you, uh, ‘delivered’, worked here for any period of time, she’d have keys as well as the gate code. Her attacker could’ve gotten those things from her any number of ways. Maybe he gave that information to the others?”
