“You don’t owe me an apology, Kota,” he says gently, reaching out like he might touch me and then pulling back as if he’s thought better of it. “Maybe I owe you one instead?” He shakes his head and leans back in his seat, closing his eyes. His handsome face is limned in light from the porchlights on Chasm’s house.
Chasm.
I owe that boy bigtime.
“Owe me one?” I query, realizing that I’m not just talking to Maxx because, well, I like talking to Maxx, but also because I’m avoiding calling my bio mom. “Why would you owe me one?”
He doesn’t open his eyes when he answers, giving me a chance to examine the straight, proud line of his nose, the fullness of his lips, the strong, masculine shape of his jaw. This is exactly the sort of guy that I want for my sister—and not just because he’s pretty. He’s kind, and he cares so much about others that he’s willing to fight dirty to keep them safe. We’re more similar than I realized, I guess, considering what I’m willing to do to save Parrish.
Besides, even if I like X, even if I’m physically attracted to him, it doesn’t matter. I have Parrish. I would never give him up. At least, that’s how I feel in that moment. And it’s not socially acceptable to date more than one guy anyway. I wet my lips and do my very best not to think about Kwang-seon McKenna.
“There’s a mean streak in me,” Maxx starts, and then sighs, like he’s so tired he can barely speak. That could very well be true, considering how much time he’s spent searching for our friend. “I’ve always had it. I do my best to push it back, but when someone I love is hurting, it just … sort of comes out. I have no right to judge you.” He swipes a hand over his face and then opens his eyes, giving me a sharp look. “Although I really would appreciate it if you called your mom.”
My … mom.
Mm. Tess is no more my mom than Saffron really. At least not yet. Part of me realizes that we’re both struggling with this situation, that we both wish we could love each other, but that an emotion as strong, as pure, as beautiful as that can’t be forced. It has to be cajoled and cared for, nurtured and left to grow; mostly, it has to be earned.
I swallow hard and look back down at the phone, pausing briefly when I see that the background image is one of Maxx on his bike—or at least I think it’s Maxx, hard to say with the helmet—midway through some sort of crazy jump.
When I click his contacts and scroll down to Tess’ name, I feel the very first vestiges of panic start to take over me. Not only was today monumentally bizarre and indescribably dangerous, but I’ve also set myself up as Tess’ least favorite person on the planet. Rightfully so, I might add.
I hit her number and hold the phone to my ear, eyes closed, waiting with bated breath for her to answer.
“Maxx, please tell me you found her.” It’s Tess’ voice, breathy and weak, so unlike her ice queen persona. Empathy crashes into me like a wave, and even though I’ve been willing the tears to stop, begging them to stop really, they increase and I find myself crying full-out. “Dakota, is that you?” she asks, her voice laced with panic. She gets my name right again which doesn’t help calm me any.
“I miss him, too,” I whisper, almost against my own will. It’s like the feelings are there, and they just won’t stop. I’m supposed to find and rescue Parrish from a serial killer who’s so notorious that he’s got his own nickname in the press? I’m a sixteen-year-old girl with a video game obsession. How the fuck am I supposed to pull this off? Parrish could very well die because of me, because I’m not clever enough or crafty enough to save him. “I want Parrish back just as much as anyone else.”
For a minute there, I actually wonder if Tess is still on the other end of the line. It’s gone completely silent.
“Okay,” she says, which is not at all what I expected. “Come home, Dakota. Just come home.”
I hand the phone over to Maxx because I’m not sure what else to say, or even if I’m capable of responding. Instead, I sink down in the seat, wrapped in Chasm’s hoodie, and I take comfort from the peppermint and dark chocolate smell of him. He’s been away from me for ten minutes, and I miss him already.
“I found her at Chasm’s place,” X explains, giving me a quick glance. I say nothing, wiping the tears from my eyes with the ends of the hoodie sleeves. “We’ll be there in five minutes or less. Not sure how long it’ll take to get through the reporters though.”
