I can’t lose him.
And I will, if Tess finds out.
Apparently, I’m not the only one thinking about that.
“I should go,” he says, his voice thick with reluctance. “But I really don’t want to.”
“I need to um, deal with my cup. Can you stay here until I’m done?”
He nods, and I get up, rushing into the bathroom. I’m pleased to find out that the cup has done its job, keeping the mess of my period contained. I climb into the shower just in case, clean up, and reinsert it. When I head back into the room, Chasm is standing up and looking out the window at the lake. Fortunately, the reporters near the front gate have been forced to move their camp to the end of the street. There are two cops just inside the gate, but there’s no way they can see us in here in the dark.
My eyes flick to the Tess-phone on its tripod, but I turn away and grab myself some fresh pajamas. I just won’t think about who else might be able to see us right now. It’s a disturbing thought, but I don’t get the feeling that the Slayer is a pervert. That’s not what his interest in me is. He has other motivations. Sinister ones, sure, but not sexual ones.
Mr. Fosser, on the other hand, I could smell his perversion from a mile away. Kinda glad the fucker is dead to be honest.
I step up beside Chasm, staring out at the water and the slices of silver moonlight across its surface. He says something to me in Korean, and I give him a look.
“Please teach me,” I beg, and he smiles, giving a small shake of his head.
“Finish your Japanese class with an A, and I’ll consider it. But we’ve got finals coming up, and neither of us has studied for shit. Me, I’m not worried about. You … we should probably take some time tomorrow …”
“I don’t care about finals,” I admit, and Chasm purses his lips. He doesn’t either, at least not in comparison to Parrish. But then I think about Chasm’s father, and how strict he can be. If he doesn’t complete the schoolyear ahead of Lumen, it might hinder our investigation. He might not be able to come over here anymore. “But okay. Just a few hours though. Mostly, I want to keep looking into the key. It’s our best clue for the time being.”
“Mm.” Chasm turns around, letting his lean body rest against the glass. He tucks his hands into the pockets of his slacks and then pauses, pulling the condom out as I cringe. “I’ll get rid of this,” he says, more to himself than to me, I think. He puts it back and then crosses his arms. “Meanwhile, do you want to talk about anything?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, playing dumb. We pretty much just … no, not pretty much, we actually did make love, didn’t we? There’s no doubt about that.
“I mean,” he starts, reaching out to tuck some hair behind my ear. “Our entire relationship will be different from this moment on. I’m okay with that. How about you?” I nod, and then find myself surprised when he reaches out and pulls me into his arms, smoothing his hand down my back.
He smells fucking amazing right now, his usual scent mixed with the faint saltiness of sex and the musky tang of … well, other things. He exhales, like he’s releasing much of his stress with that single breath.
“You fit nicely here, I think,” he says, resting his chin on my head. “I could get used to this.”
I don’t respond to that. There isn’t a great solution for any of this. Somehow, someway, someone is going to get hurt. Maybe multiple someones.
We hold each other for a while before he pulls away, leaning down to press a lingering kiss against my mouth.
“I’ll see you first thing in the morning, okay?” he says, and I nod, my throat suddenly tight with emotion. Chasm and I separate reluctantly, and he starts for the door. I let him get close enough to put his hand on the knob before a sense of panic overwhelms me.
I end up padding across the floor before I truly realize what it is that I’m doing.
“Don’t go,” I whisper, throwing my arms around him from behind. “Last time this happened, and he left …” I trail off and Chasm reaches down, placing one of his hands over mine. “Just don’t go.”
“Come downstairs with me,” he replies, giving my hand a squeeze. “I’ll put on a shirt and sleep in the chair.”
So we do exactly that, and I end up falling asleep on the ugly white couch with that strange purple fireplace flickering against the opposite wall. Mostly, it’s Chasm’s peppermint and dark chocolate smell that permeates the pillow I’m using that lulls me into a heavy, if uneasy, sleep.
