“I’m sorry, but it’s true. I can’t help it. I tried to. Especially since I could see from moment one that you were into Parrish.” He exhales again and then rubs at his forehead. I can see that he’s sweating slightly. From nervousness maybe? “Maxine is an incredible person. She’s the kindest, sweetest, most honest person I’ve ever met. She just … isn’t you.”
“You’re just saying that because we had sex last night.” I force the words out, even though I’m choking on them. It is what it is.
“I’m saying this because it’s true,” he growls at me. Like, for real. He growls it, sitting up and leaning toward me. I have a feeling that I’ve just gotten myself into big trouble with Maxx Wright. “I didn’t want to add to your shit, not with Parrish missing. Especially not after the thing with Chasm. I can see that you guys like each other, too.”
I look away again, but I can’t help it. I’m drawn to Maxx. I end up turning right back to him.
“But I can never go back to Maxine now. You know that; I know that; she knows that now, too. So what’s the harm in being honest?”
“Maxx!” I snap, getting up on all fours and getting in his face. “Spill it. I am rapidly running out of patience here.” My heart is pounding as I snatch the letter from his lap, and he lets have it. I sit down again, this time with my back against the wall to his right.
“The things I liked in Maxine were the parts of you that were similar. It wasn’t fair for me to continue a relationship with her anyway. I was … relieved when she broke up with me, to be honest. Even though I knew you and I could never happen. That you’d never betray her like that. I didn’t want to do it either. But … there’s nothing we can do about it now.”
He takes another deep breath, glancing over at the letter in my lap.
“Before we even met, I was hearing all kinds of stories about you. From Parrish. From Chasm. From my parents.”
“Your parents?” I ask, because I don’t even know their names. How could they have had an opinion about me?
“I assumed they’d heard something from Tess or one of their other friends. But none of it was good. Parrish and Chasm were bitching, but there’s nothing unusual about that. My parents though, they kept saying how horrible you were. Maxine, on the other hand, couldn’t stop saying how amazing you were.” He looks down at his hands in his lap, and I wonder then how he could’ve worried about our tiny age difference. He looks so young right now. When he lifts his head up to look at me again, I know we’re not done with the romance thing.
Just taking a break.
“I like to form my own opinions of people, so when you approached me in line, I didn’t tell you the full truth. I just wanted to see what you were like.” He releases a huge breath, like this is something that’s been bothering him for some time. “People have a tendency to be fake when they know they’re being judged. If you knew I was Maxine’s boyfriend right from the start, you would’ve been on your best behavior.”
“You know this makes you an asshole, right?” I ask, but I’m not even that mad about it. In the scheme of things, this is nothing. And the reason he feels so guilty about this is because he’s got a good heart. I’ve known that all along.
“I am an asshole,” he agrees, heaving yet another sigh. “I told you that. I know it. I try to stop myself from acting that way, but it happens sometimes. That’s one of the reasons that I avoided sex. It sort of opens you up.”
“Maxx, you were fine,” I tell him, and he lifts a brow.
“Fine?” he queries, his face squinching up slightly. “Just fine?”
A laugh bursts out of me, even though I don’t mean it to. I immediately feel guilty about it, but I can’t help it if he makes me laugh. I put my hand over my mouth and shake my head before dropping my hand back to my lap.
“You can tell me if Parrish or Chasm is better. It’s okay. Only my ego will hurt.” He hooks a slight smile, but it’s tinged with too much melancholy to take seriously. He’s trying to lighten the mood which I appreciate, but it’s like a drop in the ocean of my sadness.
“You’re all good. I heard guys your age suck. But not the three of you.”
“Mm. Well, I appreciate that,” he murmurs, and the low, softness of his voice makes my skin ripple with goose bumps.
I force my gaze down, and then unfold the letter.
