Page 66 of I am Dressed in Sin (Death by Daybreak MC 2)
He storms across the room in a sea of dust and snatches my chin in his hand, making me grit my teeth in frustration.
“We’re at war now, Gidget. You thought we were before, but this is something entirely different. This isn’t sniping in the dark; this is guns and blood and bodies.” He squeezes my chin even harder, but I let him. He’s pissed, and I need his help. Desperately. “Why did you have to do it? Look at that kid now. Look at him, Gidget. Was it worth it?”
“It was,” I tell him, and this time, it’s Sin’s turn to grit his teeth at me. “Grey has my back, Sin. He’s trying to send me a message, but I need to figure out what it is.” He’s already shaking his head at me. He releases me abruptly, turning away and raking his fingers over that blue faux hawk that I like so much. His earrings catch a bit of stray sunlight from outside, dust motes swirling like dark spirits, watching over this interaction with interest. “If he wanted to tell Cat the truth, he could have. He could’ve ended the five of us right then and there. He’s different. Just like Kian was different.”
That does it.
The name of Queenie’s lover shakes Sin to his core, and he turns to look at me with an expression of pure and absolute rage.
“What do you really know about Queenie and Kian?” he snaps at me, breathless but bristling. Sin turns suddenly and comes stomping toward me, pausing so close that I have to crane my head back to look up at him. He’s shaking now, his silver eyes going cold with memories. “She came to me, you know. She told me what was happening between the two of them. I … encouraged her to tell Cat.”
That gives me pause. Here’s a part of the story that I never expected to see.
It’s not that I didn’t know Sin and Queenie were sort of friends; we were all sort of friends with Sin. She was his age, not much of a gap there. But she confided in him, too? How have I never known this?
He reaches up and rubs his thumbs along my cheekbones, staring down at me with this faraway look on his face. Sin knew that Kian never raped Queenie; Beast knew; what about Crown and Grainger?
“A bomb’s just gone off outside, and the mafia is threatening us, and here I am, talking about people long dead and buried.” He curses and exhales, but I remain where I am. I need him to talk. Then I need to use whatever he says against him to get to Reba’s house as soon as I possibly can. “Did you know that a few weeks before they died, Cat gave me a choice? Be head of his family’s security team or become road captain.”
This … I did not know.
The information knocks the air out of me, and I find myself lifting my hands to cover Sin’s. Our fingers somehow end up tangled together in the process.
“I chose road captain because the thought of being near you all the time, that just about killed me.”
He pauses again at the sound of gunfire, lifting his head up to listen. Sin removes one of his hands to check the phone in his pocket. Even with chaos unfolding around us, he has complete faith in the club. This is a hiccup, nothing more. We’re not in anymore danger right this moment than we are on a regular day. He puts the phone back and looks at me.
“Blame for Queenie’s and Posey’s deaths is on my shoulders.” He says this with such conviction, I can tell that he actually believes it. “And I will not allow you to end up in the same position.”
Sin’s words are like a strike; I can feel the force of them. As bright as the flames that I imagine are licking at the sky near the front gate. He isn’t going to let me go to Reba’s, I realize with a shock of wild fear. If he doesn’t let me go, I won’t understand what Grey’s trying to tell me, and everything will fall apart.
My hands go for Sin’s shoulders, but he pushes them away from him, turning his head to one side. His eyes are closed tight, like he’s fighting an instinct that he knows he shouldn’t have.
“No, Gidget,” he tells me, emphasizing the T at the end of my name in a way that’s infuriating. “You can’t fuck your way out of this one.”
That does it. I feel so triggered I could scream.
“Is that what you think it was all about, you idiot?” I yell back at him, frustrated to the point of hitting him. I almost do it, too, balling my hands into fists at my sides. Sin doesn’t seem concerned by my outburst, watching me from eyes the color of gravestones. Right now, they seem just as cold and dead which we both know is a lie. He’s trying too hard to hate me, and it isn’t working. “All four of you are so … so self-righteous.” I choke the word out like a curse. “You’re too young, Gidge. We shouldn’t do this or that. I’m staying away from you. We took advantage of you that night.” My eyes flash with violence. I know because I can see them, reflected back all around me, a repeating imagery that goes on for eternity, from one mirror to another to another. Never stopping. Just an endless stream of my rage. “Well, guess what? That’s taking my agency away, acting like I wasn’t a part of everything. I made those choices, too, Sin.” I stare him down as his pulse races; I can see it throbbing in the side of his neck, a metronome to my own racing heart. “I’m not some naïve suburban brat with a mommy and daddy who dote on her and guard her from the world.”
