Page 51 of I am Dressed in Sin (Death by Daybreak MC 2)
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want …” How did he phrase it again? When he told me he wanted a wife? “Someone to talk to. Someone to start a family with one day. Someone who’s always on my side, no matter what.” Crown hasn’t moved, but he’s listening to me. Intently. So intently that I shift, suddenly uncomfortable beneath his scrutiny. “I just can’t decide who I want that person to be.”
“There are candidates?” Crown asks softly, but then he answers his own question. “Beast. Sin.” He waits for a moment before daring to add, “Grainger,” with a bit of a tired sigh. That man really is exhausting sometimes, I’ll admit. “Mm. You have good taste, Gidge, I’ll give you that. But only because you’re including me.” He almost smiles but it doesn’t quite stick, and then he starts walking. I keep up with him, shoulder to shoulder, as we make our way to my grandmother’s house.
Crown pauses just beyond the pool of light cast by the porch. Meanwhile, I stop half inside of and half out of it. Light and shadow. It cuts me right in half.
“I’m glad you’re not engaged to Amber,” I tell him quietly, even though it’s hypocritical for me to be engaged to Beast in the same breath. Crown doesn’t respond for so long that I almost wonder whether he heard me or not.
“Goodnight, Gidget,” he says finally, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the diamond ring. He studies it for a long moment before putting it back, his eyes meeting mine before he turns and disappears into the shadows of night.
I’m not given a choice on whether I want to go back to school or not.
“Don’t see no sense in that,” Cat tells me during a particularly awkward family dinner. We never had these often, and they’re even weirder now, post Queenie and Posey, post my kidnapping, post my marriage announcement.
Nellie’s made spaghetti, but I can barely look at it. Eating it makes me think of Queenie. Watching Gaz eat it makes me think of the night Nellie used Queenie’s cookbook and then he beat me up over my reaction to the whole thing.
“No sense in education?” I query, my tone mocking. Cat gives me a warning look, and I realize I’m tiptoeing far too close to that dangerous edge. I just … sitting here like nothing’s changed, I can’t do that. I reject the idea of a cage, I remind myself. Claim your armor, Gidget. “Maybe that’s a question my fiancé and I should think about together?”
Cat looks up and grins at something—or someone—from over my shoulder. I pause with a bite of noodles halfway to my mouth, turning to find Beast waiting in the doorway.
“Sorry I’m late,” he drawls, and I very carefully set my fork down.
“Join us,” Cat says with a grunt, gesturing to the chair beside me.
I can barely look at Beast as he takes his seat, but our legs touch, memories of his words to me the other day ringing in my head. “I’m not touchin’ you until our wedding night.” This fucker over here.
“We were just discussing the merits of Gidget returning to school,” Cat says, talking over my head as Nellie simpers at me, and Gaz sneers. He doesn’t trust me. Never did. But now? I would hate to find myself alone in a room with him. My brother has never made his distaste for me private. This time, I really believe he’ll cross right over the officers’ and Cat’s good sides and take his revenge whether they like it or not. Revenge for what slight, exactly, I’m not sure. I hate that his suspicions are probably at least partially correct.
“I’m still here,” I grind out, giving my father a look. Gaz bristles. Nellie smiles in a much less simpering way that makes me realize I don’t completely and utterly hate her. Cat looks like he wants to slap me. I make my voice quiet but strong, the way Nellie taught me once. Nellie … or Mom, I guess. “Our marriage isn’t going to be like yours or anyone else’s.”
I sit up straight as Cat stares at me with raging disbelief in his gaze.
That’s when I know it for certain: he doesn’t trust me either. He suspects something. The thought chills me to my core, bringing goose bumps up along my spine.
“Is that so?” Cat quips back, leaning his hairy forearm on the table. He lifts his gaze to Beast.
Here’s what I figure: the guys care enough about me that they’ll either step up or let me go. Crown implied as much last night, offering to spirit me away. So, I’m going to forge ahead with what I want. The club is home, even if I never wanted to admit that to myself.
Another thing I don’t much care to admit: going back to school isn’t a great option for me.
