Page 50 of I am Dressed in Sin (Death by Daybreak MC 2)
“It’s not a very traditional sort of ring,” he continues, circling me slowly. I don’t know much about rings or diamonds or whatever, but a yellow diamond isn’t far outside the norm. “It’s got this deep red ruby, almost six carats.” He pauses in front of me again and lifts his brows. “I had it appraised; it’s worth almost a hundred grand now. But I guess that isn’t much compared to this.” Again, he pats his vest pocket, and I frown.
“A ruby?” I ask, this strange, gross sparkly feeling coming over me. It freaks me out; I won’t lie. It tastes like … hope or something. I almost gag on its sickly-sweet taste. “What do you mean?”
Crown puts his hands on his hips and sighs.
“You are still far too young for any of this,” he says, and that does it. I’m annoyed all over again.
“Amber had a yellow diamond on her hand,” I tell him, like he’s an idiot. Or maybe I am, because I keep saying I want to trust these men, and yet, I won’t allow myself to fully commit.
“I’m sure she did. Big Jack and I spent a lot of time picking it out. Looks nice with her hair, doesn’t it?”
I keep staring at him.
Big Jack. It takes me a minute to place the name. Ah. Big Jack is one of my father’s best … mechanics. In that, he can break down an entire car and have the parts sold in less time than it takes most men to replace a carburetor.
“I was hoping my ring would match my girl’s eyes. Not a lot of girls out in the world with red irises. Seemed like fate or some shit.” Crown runs his hand over his face as my heart hammers, and I feel dizzy on my feet.
“You’re not engaged to Amber,” I correct, looking up and into the shadows of his face. He hesitates for a moment before nodding. Just as I can no longer lie to him, he can’t lie to me either. He’s lying to everyone else, so it’s me that will get the full and complete truth from him.
“How could you think that?” he demands after a few seconds of silence. “I … fuck, I put everything on the line for you. What sort of man do you think I am, that I would run off and get engaged to a groupie that I barely know?”
“You’ve fucked her before,” I breathe, and he laughs. It isn’t a very nice laugh.
“Maybe. If I did, I don’t remember. Do you care? Because I don’t.” He moves close to me, and even though I can’t see him very well, I can feel him. His heat, his anger, his need. “The only girl I’ve ever given any thought to is you. So when you …” Here he grits his teeth for a second. “Tased me. Stole my bike. Took that kid. All I could think about was how to keep you safe. Gidge,” Crown begins as I start to tremble. “I wish I could tell you that I did it for some noble reason.” He laughs, the sound harsh and bitter. “I wish I could tell you there was some plot involving your father, that he’s a traitor to the club, anything to make it sound less desperate than it is.” I wait with bated breath, and the stars in the sky pause their winking, the whole world waiting to hear the truth from Calder’s lips. “But it’s not. It’s just about you.” Crown swallows hard and puts his hand over his mouth for a minute before dropping it by his side. “You know how I feel, don’t you? You voiced it once. You told me you didn’t want to be my old lady.”
There’s a long pause there where neither of us quite knows what to say.
“If I asked for you, Cat would’ve told me no. He doesn’t like when you stand up for me, even just a little.” I think about that time in the kitchen before Gaz beat my ass, when Crown tried to protest. The time at the funeral when he spoke up in my defense, those two times he murmured Boss as a warning before Cat’s stunt with the gun to my forehead. “He wouldn’t like me having that much power.”
Crown exhales sharply, the sound electric in the dark. I can feel it in my blood, in every beat of my heart.
I once equated marrying Crown—or any of the men in the club—to shooting Grey in the head. Two different actions with the same result: I’d be trapped. Bound to the club. Bound to its dark deeds. Bound to my status as a second-class citizen. Bound to danger and bullshit and evil and murder.
I’m starting to rethink that.
Instead of a cage, why couldn’t it be armor? Steel and chrome and leather against the world.
