Page 31 of I am Dressed in Sin (Death by Daybreak MC 2)
I let my angry glare trail across the four of them, hating them with every breath and yet wishing that they were different. Knowing that, in fact, they are. They’re all lying for me. They’re risking their lives. They’re putting my welfare above the welfare of the club.
Just like I always wanted.
Be careful what you wish for, Gidge.
“I don’t understand,” I choke out finally, my angry look turning to one of pleading. “Why are you doing this for me? I fully expected to die. I was willing to die.”
The four of them don’t answer me, not right away.
Silence reigns for several minutes before Beast reaches out and runs his palm down the length of my leg, making me shiver.
“I want you, sugar,” he tells me, looking me right in the face. “I want to marry you. But if you don’t, you don’t gotta.” He stands up suddenly, and I scramble to follow after. I’m barely on my feet for a second before my knees go weak, and I’m falling. Once again, Sin manages to catch me before I hit the ground. “And,” Beast continues, moving back toward the door, “if you want to use me for protection, use me, Gidge. You don’t owe me a damn thing.” He leaves and slams the door shut behind him.
“I’m not going to let you do this for me if you don’t tell me why,” I breathe, and I sound so young when I say that, like an eighteen-year-old girl. I hate that. That isn’t who I am on the inside, some stupid ass teenager.
“So go tell Cat we’re all lying for you,” Grainger challenges, making me grit my teeth at the acidity in his words. “Get us all killed then, if that’s what you want so badly.”
And then he’s leaving, too, storming out and cursing under his breath.
Being with Sin and Crown again reminds me of that last night, when I approached them on the hill and bitched Crown out about the fentanyl-laced cocaine he made me distribute to my classmates.
“I’m sorry that I used you,” I tell Sin, looking up and into his face. He’s so pretty, I’d almost forgotten. It makes me wonder if there isn’t some dark magic in this place. More specifically, in these men. When I had distance from them, I could almost imagine that I never cared for them at all. Finding myself back here so suddenly … I can’t pretend anymore. “That I fucked you for your keys …” I trail off as Crown throws his younger peer a sharp look. “And I’m sorry, Crown—”
“Don’t,” he says, lifting a hand and cutting me off in a way that makes me grit my teeth. “We don’t need apologies; we need a straight story.”
“My story wasn’t straight enough for you, straight shooter?” I quip back, and Crown gives me one of his looks, the ones that have always pissed me off and yet now, for some stupid reason, also seem to have the power to turn me on. “I still don’t understand—”
“You should’ve asked to marry me,” Crown says, looking away from me like he’s disappointed. I feel my face flush red, and if I weren’t in such rough shape, I might sock him in the face. “You only think you’re a master strategist, Gidge.”
My mouth gapes open as he, too, stands up and makes his grand exit. He, of course, doesn’t slam the door behind him because Crown doesn’t do things like that, right? He’s an adult.
“He’s jealous,” Sin says, lighting up a cigarette and then offering it out to me. I haven’t had a smoke in months—and even though I know I shouldn’t, I take it anyway. The first drag is almost as heavenly as that first stroke of Grainger’s cock back in the chapel. “I told you he was into you.”
“Bullshit,” I snort, but now who’s the idiot? The only person I’m lying to right now is myself. Crown wouldn’t have lied for me if he didn’t care. I try to tell myself that he’s just protecting Cat, because if Cat found out, it would kill him, and then he would kill me, and … but that’s just a load of crap. The only reason—and I mean only reason—that Crown would do something like this is …
I can’t even make myself think it.
“Isn’t he dating Amber Clearwater?” I say instead, and Sin gives me a look.
“It’s been three months, and that’s what you want to talk about?” he asks me, his voice sad and distant. His mouth, though, is still sharp, this beautiful blade that I want to drag across my own throat. Make myself bleed hot down my chest. That’s how addictive his poison is.
That’s the real reason that I had to run.
I clench my jaw tight.
“I’m telling Cat the truth, you know?” I say, adjusting the blankets and leaning back into the pillows. Sin takes the cigarette from me and our fingers brush, this dangerous dance of digits that could so very easily lead to something else. All it would take is one small acquiescent gesture from either of us.
