There was no point in denying it. “Yes.”
“You know, I am denying myself—denying them—because I feel like I should protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” I demanded. “I have no future, I have no family. I no longer have a home. What consequence could my behavior possibly have at this point? You must know that I will never marry, not without money or any connections.” I pressed my hands against his chest and he breathed in. “My body belongs only to me now. And I want to do with it what I will.”
I expected him to reply, but instead he lifted me and placed me on a low table against the wall, pressing his lips against mine. They tasted sweet, of dessert wine and cloves, and when he made to part my lips with his, I allowed him, relishing his warmth and his taste. But the noises we made, the breathing and the soft whisper of lips parting and meeting—it sounded too much like last night. Something stabbed in my chest.
“You and Molly—”
He froze and pulled back. “What else did she say to you?” he demanded.
“Nothing—”
“Tell me,” he said, and his voice had lost any warmth it might have had. It was a command, and suddenly I pictured how it would sound to him, me being hurt over something that was his prerogative and none of my business.
“Molly said you would make me yours and then abandon me,” I said instead.
He looked hard at me. “She doesn’t—”
I pressed a finger against his lips. “What I’m saying is that I don’t care. I want you, no matter what happens to me afterwards.”
“Molly doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” he said. “I would never abandon you. And regardless, we will never need to find out. I will restrain myself.” He pushed himself away from me, eyes full of resolve.
“But that’s not fair!” I cried. “You touch me, you make me want things only you can give, and now you withdraw yourself completely? What about me? What about what I want?”
He sighed. “I’m trying to help you.”
I glanced around the hallway to make sure we were alone then I reached down with one hand and pulled up the silk dress and the petticoats underneath and spread my legs. Mr. Markham’s eyes darkened with lust. I took his hand and slid it up my thigh. “Then help me. I want you all the time. I think of you all the time. My body burns and aches and…”
“And you are so wet,” Mr. Markham growled, sliding a finger inside of me. His thumb began pressing against my clit. “Look at us, Ivy. I could fuck you on this table right now.”
He was right. I looked down and saw that his pelvis was perfectly aligned with mine. If he drew himself out of his pants, he’d have only to part my folds with his cock and push in…the thought made my pulse pound.
“But I won’t,” he finished, pulling his finger out of me.
I practically wilted.
He closed his eyes a moment. “You are right that your body is your own. And perhaps Molly is right that you should be included in their games. She’s been trying to persuade me ever since she got here that there was no sense in denying you. Perhaps as long as things do not go too far…would you like to play with the others?”
“Play?”
He opened his eyes. “Wh
at they were playing earlier. Blind Man’s Buff.”
I hardly saw how that would alleviate my current discomfort, but I said, “If that is what you would like.”
“I think you’ll find that it is what you would like.”
“Miss Leavold is going to play with us,” Mr. Markham announced as we entered the room once more.
The girls clapped their hands delightedly.
“But I must set down some rules,” he continued.
The girls pouted. He gave them a stern look.
“Gather round. No, not you Miss Leavold. Wait over there.”
