Page 44 of Feast of Sparks (Thornchapel 2)
“Try again.”
“Understood, Sir.”
He nods in satisfaction. “Better.”
“Should we try not to?” I ask. “Relieve our needs with anyone? Isn’t fucking anyone going to make this more complicated?”
Both Poe and Auden seem to think about this a moment, and I have my own moment where I realize how fucking surreal this all is. Not only did I somehow fuck up falling in love by managing to do it with two people instead of one, but now we’re standing here with completely straight faces, asking ourselves if we can fuck our friends too.
“We should try to restrain ourselves as much as possible,” Auden says. “For the sake of avoiding complication. But I’d never hold seeking comfort from our friends against either of you. Whatever the six of us share, it’s bigger than friendship, and nothing that happens in our circle is cheating. Not to me. If a moment arises when you need something from one of our friends, then you have my blessing.”
“You too,” Poe says. And then looks at me. “And you. You’d have my blessing.” She says it like she expects Auden and I to fuck circles around the library, but when Auden nods, I can see in his face that he won’t be fucking anyone until he’s good and ready. He’s woven restraint too deeply inside him, and I think it would take an act of God to break those restraints and free the animal inside him.
“Agreed,” I say. And then I say, because it’s the truth, “I still don’t know if I understand the rules.”
“That’s easy,” Auden responds. “I make them. And right now, the only rule I’ve made is that we have to try this. Being three.”
“I like that rule,” Poe says happily, and she steps forward to kiss us both lightly on the lips.
“Poe,” Auden says in a warning voice.
She looks up at him, eyes bright. “Yes?”
“I’m giving this until Beltane. I want us together that night. No matter what lies undone between us.”
She thinks for a minute, then nods her accession and turns to walk back into the light. From Rebecca’s knowing tone of voice and Delphine’s giggles after Poe reaches the fire, I’m guessing we weren’t as quiet in the shadows as we thought we were, or maybe Poe’s stained cheeks and wrinkled clothes gave it away.
With a sigh, I start toward the circle too but am quickly stopped by Auden’s hand on my arm.
“St. Sebastian,” he says, and I give up any hope of resisting him. I turn to meet his glinting gaze.
There’re a thousand things we could say to each other right now. Cruel things, true things, things that have been unspoken for so long that they’re no longer cruel or true, just curses etched in lead and thrown into waters so deep they no longer have any power. We could lie and say we’re only doing this for Poe, to make her happy,
because her happiness feeds us both. We could lie and say everything is basically mended between us.
But we don’t lie to each other right now.
“You’ll never trust me again,” I say, because I know it’s true.
His eyes drop to my mouth and his hand tightens imperceptibly on my bicep. For a moment, I think he’s going to agree with me.
But he only says as he lets go of my arm, “You’re going to need your safe word in the coming weeks.”
And I know that’s true too.
Chapter 15
Proserpina
Present Day
Two weeks later
* * *
Kernstow Farm is a lonely mess of mud and stone at the northern head of the Thorne Valley.
Rather than sheltering in the valley itself, the farm hunkers against the wind and the rain out on the moors, surrounded by stark, sullen hills and a few stunted trees. Although the roof is long gone, along with any doors and floors and other finishings that would mark the building as a house, the sturdy stone doorway is still intact, and it beckons to any strays who pass.
