Page 66 of Summer Heat
“So we’ll see each other after work,” she said. Stubbornly.
He closed his eyes briefly before focusing on the road again. Nothing but darkness, the trees a shadow wall pointing toward home. Lia’s home with Chris, the place Ethan didn’t belong. All three of them were friends, but things had already begun to change when Chris had graduated this past spring and gone to work for the representative full time.
“Everything will be different,” he said, unable to say more. Unable to say, You can’t be alone with me anymore.
Even tonight had been a mistake.
“We’re friends, Ethan. All three of us, best friends. It wasn’t school that made us friends. It’s the fact that I’ve known both of you forever, before you even deployed.”
That softened him, a little, to remember her as the skinny preteen she’d been. He’d had an unhealthy fascination with her even then, but she’d only had eyes for Chris. All the ladies had eyes for Chris, which Ethan had never minded.
Except with her.
He pulled into the parking lot of her apartment and jerked his truck to a stop. The vehicle shuddered at the suddenness, and kettle corn spilled onto her lap and rolled all over the floor of his car.
“Oh,” she exclaimed. “Crap.”
“Sorry,” he muttered, not feeling all that sorry.
“Ethan?”
He rummaged under the seat for some fast food napkins and tossed them at her. “Here,” he said without looking at her. “Don’t worry about the rest. I’ll put Oreo in the front seat and the popcorn will be gone before I get home.”
“Ethan.”
Finally he met her gaze. Her eyes had turned to moons, wide and reflective. He saw in them a thousand tiny lights on a string. He saw in them everything and nothing and a future he couldn’t be a part of. Technically he could see her tomorrow, for lunch. And the next day. But staring at her in the twilight, it felt like goodbye.
“You’ll get a real offer,” he said. “As a teacher, at a great school. And wherever you end up, they’ll be lucky to have you.”
He had hidden his feelings for so long, it felt strange to want them exposed. But in that moment, he did. He hoped she knew what he meant also, that Chris was lucky to have her.
Her eyes glistened—with what? With liquid night. With ink. With anything but tears, but then they slid down her cheeks and he couldn’t pretend any longer.
“Go,” he said roughly. Go to him. Go live your life. Go away where you can’t make me ache and want and hurt anymore.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice high and trembly. Like a plea.
“Just get the hell out.”
She turned from him and stumbled out of the truck. It wasn’t safe, her running out of the truck that way. He started to get out, started to follow. But the moon blanketed the empty parking lot, lighting gravel like stars, and her path was clear. He watched her take the few steps down into her apartment’s entryway.
But she just stood there.
Her hand reached up to knock. Her head lowered.
With a sinking feeling in his gut, Ethan realized her little zippered purse was on the floor of his truck, half covered in popcorn. It must have her keys. His throat felt tight. He grabbed the leather pouch and jogged across the parking lot.
He reached her just as the door opened. Chris stood there, wearing a rumpled shirt and slacks. His eyes were bloodshot but he started to smile. Then he saw Lia’s face. Ethan couldn’t see her—she wouldn’t look at him—but it must have been bad. Chris’s gaze met Ethan’s, questioning. What happened?
Ethan didn’t have an answer. He couldn’t very well say, I’m in love with your girlfriend. I have been for years.
“You forgot this,” he said instead, holding up the pouch. But Lia was already slipping past Chris into the apartment they shared.
Chris’s eyes lightened with something like recognition. He saw what was happening, felt the tension in the air and knew what it meant—maybe that was for the best. Now he’d know better than to ask the fox to guard the henhouse. But it wasn’t worry that filled Chris’s expression. Not even jealousy. Instead it was a sort of smugness, and it made Ethan wonder if Chris had seen his feelings all along.
“Did you have a good time?” his friend asked, too polite to be real. He had seen Lia’s face, and Ethan must look torn to shit—like he felt inside, but Chris was cool as the air around them.
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Ethan muttered. Losing Lia—not that he’d ever had her, was hard enough. Knowing his best friend found it funny did not help his mood.
