Page 482 of Summer Heat
“Thank you for taking care of me,” I speak as she pulls the wad of paper towels away and there’s less blood. I try to take a deep breath, but it hurts and I wince.
“Let me clean and bandage you,” she says although I’m not sure she really wants a response. I swallow thickly and let her work. She can do whatever she wants to me, since I’m just grateful that she’s here for me.
I don’t deserve her. I know I don’t. And that’s all I can think about as she tapes the sterile gauze in place. Even as she poured rubbing alcohol over my wound I barely felt a thing.
“I need you to go lie down.” Addison speaks with authority although she looks like a beautiful mess herself.
The desperate need for sleep begs me to listen to her, although Carter is expecting me. He knows I’m coming.
As if reading my mind Addison says, “It can wait. You can’t drive right now anyway.”
“Will you lie down with me?” I would give anything to feel her soft body next to mine and hold her right now. The thought sends a warmth through me, but it vanishes when I look up.
Her sad eyes meet mine with something they haven’t before. Regret, maybe? Or denial? I’m not sure, but I’m certain she’s going to tell me no.
“Please,” I add and my voice trembles. “Even if it’s only a little while?”
She’s reluctant to nod, but she does and my throat closes with a pain that’s sure to haunt me forever.
At least I have one more night. But I know in my heart, it’s only one more night.
Chapter 27
Addison
I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to move.
Because right now I have a man I desperately want, and it doesn’t make me weak to be with him. But when this moment is over, that’s what I’ll be. It’s not about forgiving him anymore; it’s accepting who I am if I’m with him.
I’m not sure how long we’ve been in bed, but the knocks at the door from the cops came and went. And at least hours have passed, because my eyes don’t feel so heavy, only sore.
“You’re awake.” Daniel’s deep rumble makes his chest vibrate. And it’s only then that I realize how close to him I am, how I’m curled around him and his arm is behind my back, holding me to him.
I roll over slightly, only enough so my head is on the pillow and not his chest. There are so many things to say. And so little time.
You can want a person but know they’re bad for you. That’s the person Daniel’s been for me since I’ve met him. And it’s not going to change.
Daniel lifts the sheet and checks his gunshot wound. I can only see a faint circle of blood and I try to gauge his reaction, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask him and try to swallow down my worry.
“Are you going to leave me if I say I’ll be fine?” he asks, turning his face toward me and his lips are only inches from mine.
I huff a small laugh and a trace of a smile is there for a moment, but the pain of the unknown is quick to take it away. The smile on my lips quivers and I have to take in a deep breath.
“I don’t know where we go from here.” It’s hard to tell him the truth.
I hear him swallow and then he looks up at the ceiling, rather than at me.
“I still want you,” he says in a whisper although I’m not sure he meant for it to come out that way. “I can’t let go of you,” he says and puts his gaze back on me, assessing my reaction.
I can’t explain how it feels to hear him say the only words I want to hear. I want to beg him not to let go of me because I’m so afraid to lose myself with him, but I don’t ever want to be apart.
A second passes, and then another. And I don’t know what to do or think or say. I only know time is running out.
“I’ll never stop watching you, Addison. My heart thinks you belong to me and it always has. Whether I want it, whether you want it. It doesn’t matter–I’ll always feel this need to watch over you.”
“It’s not the watching part,” I try to tell him and then shake my head. My hair slides against the pillow and I struggle to speak, but somehow I do. “It just hurts.”
