Page 71 of Summer Heat
She spent her time doing something else. Something important.
Which meant she wouldn’t go to work today, either. They hadn’t scheduled her for any paid hours, but she was going to paint the pirate ship for the kindergarten play. On her own time. She was also going to tell her boss that she’d accept the full time position as an aide and the small hourly raise it came with.
Except now…
Now all of those plans felt a million miles away, hazy and uncertain. That steam-clouded bathroom mirror was back again, standing between her and the world. But now it seemed like a good thing. The distance let her examine what she really wanted.
Standing in the middle, everything had felt locked in. Her job. Her ro
le. Even Chris—locked in.
She heard the front door to the apartment open and glanced back through the sliding glass doors. Chris walked in, his shape indistinct. And she knew nothing was locked in, nothing at all. They were choices, and she was no longer sure they were the right ones.
Scratch that, she was sure they weren’t.
That left a pretty big landscape for her to walk and find the right one. But she would.
She stood and met Chris in the dining room. He was staring at her purse in the middle of the table, waiting for her to take it and go. Her small car was already piled high with her stuff—he couldn’t have missed it. He knew what she was doing, and he looked… tired.
“I’m sorry,” she said, because it felt right. She was sorry, that she couldn’t be what he wanted, what she’d thought she could.
He sat down at the table. “Lia.”
Just that. Her name. She sat down across from him. They were almost strangers now.
“Don’t hate me,” she said.
He grimaced. “I don’t. I couldn’t. I was being an asshole last night.”
Well, yeah. But she’d been an asshole too, even if she hadn’t exactly meant it that way. She thought he hadn’t meant it that way either. They’d both been hurt and confused and lashing out. That was okay, as long as she made it right.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I just—”
“It’s okay.” He gave her a dark look that somehow made the mood lighter. “You can say his name. I’m not going to freak out. Not again.”
“Nothing happened,” she said defensively.
He sighed. “Even if it did.”
“It didn’t. There was a weird moment, that’s all. And it’s my fault for not really stopping to think about things sooner. I’ve just been so focused on graduating, on getting to this point, and then…”
“And then everything’s different.”
Those words again. They pinged inside her, and this time she knew it wasn’t annoyance she felt. It was fear. And pain. She’d liked the way things had been. Loved them. Her two best friends in the world, near her. She’d seen them both every day. Loved them both, in different ways. She couldn’t have that anymore, and it hurt like hell.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said. “I can leave.”
She shook her head. “Our lease is up soon anyway. And then, what? You’re moving to DC, right?”
He nodded. “Most likely. Now that…”
Now that they weren’t together, there was nothing to keep him here. Had she always been a weight for him, an anchor to his past while he’d been trying to move forward? Well, she was glad she wasn’t anymore. She was glad he could move to DC, unencumbered.
“Anyway, I talked to my friend. I can stay there until I graduate.”
“Where will you go after that?”
A moment passed. “I have no idea.”
