Page 92 of Hold You Close
“I guess I’m just the punch line?”
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nbsp; Ian takes a step back. I see something in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can think more on it. “It’s none of my business what you do anymore. I’ll get a nanny or something.”
And there I have my answers. Nothing I said matters. He’s made his feelings perfectly clear. I’m nothing to him other than a babysitter. He’s worried about his precious club and job, not the pain he just put me through—again.
I waited my entire life to feel the way I did when I was with him. I never married or had anyone serious because no one could measure up to Ian. Then, I finally have this chance with him. He forces my defenses to lower, gives me hope, and ends up destroying me.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Loving Ian was never really a choice, though. He’s always been the guy for me. I just wish my heart knew he was the wrong one.
“I should talk to the kids now so I can get back and finish packing,” I say to him, hoping he’ll say something to stop me.
“Yeah, I guess you should. You and I are over, might as well make it known.”
Ian delivers the final blow to my heart, leaving it decimated.
Twenty-One
Ian
I finally get Ruby to bed. She didn’t take London’s big news all that well. In fact, she hasn’t cried this hard since she moved in with me. She kept asking over and over, “Why can’t Aunt London live here? Why does she have to leave?”
Because life is full of fucked-up moments where it takes every opportunity to kick you in the nuts and watch you fall to the floor.
Because she deserves more, kid. That’s why. She deserves everything I can’t give her. Her dreams were always bigger than me and I’m the fucking idiot who thought maybe I could be a part of them.
“Uncle Ian?” Chris knocks on my door.
“Yeah?” I reply tersely.
I’m really not in the mood for parenting right now. I’m trying to keep my emotions under control, but I’m on the edge. I’m angry at the world, but these kids shouldn’t have to see me fall apart.
He hesitates, but then steps in. “I have something for you,” he says with a hint of shame in his voice. “I should’ve given it to you when I found it, but . . .”
“What is it?”
“A note.”
My chest tightens because from the look on his face, I know it’s from my sister.
“Bring it here,” I tell him.
Chris walks closer, extends his hand, and gives me the envelope. When I look at the handwriting, my heart instantly sinks. My sister always wrote with these obnoxious swirls and shit. It looks like the same envelopes the lawyer handed out after reading the will. Somehow this one hadn’t made it into the file with the others.
“I found it in a box we kept of Mom’s. It was in a packet and . . . I didn’t read it,” he says quickly. “I just couldn’t give it to you because I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“It’s okay, dude. I’m pretty sure your mother wanted me to read this at my lowest point.” I manage a laugh.
Sabrina couldn’t have planned this any better. My nephew held this until now? Why? Because my sister is up in heaven, pulling her strings like always.
I swear, one day she’ll stop meddling in my life. Although, I kind of hope she never does.
“You okay?” he asks.
“No.” I’m not going to lie to him.
