Page 36 of Some Sort of Happy (Happy Crazy Love 1)
We sat there for a few minutes in silence, and I gently rocked the hammock forward and back. Eventually, her head tilted toward me, and she rested it against my arm, making me smile. This I could handle. This was the sort of pure, peaceful moment I desperately needed to feel like myself. A sense of calm pervaded me, and I breathed deeply, allowing the woodsy air to fill my lungs. Skylar’s breathing was deep and even too, and a moment later I realized she’d fallen asleep.
Testing myself, I lowered my lips to her head and gently pressed them to her hair.
No voice. Just stillness and peace.
Flooded with gratitude, I inhaled the sweet floral scent of her shampoo before closing my eyes.
It might not have been the nap fantasy I’d had last night, but it was a damn good start.
Maybe there was hope for me.
Hope for us.
I woke up leisurely, completely comfortable. Next to me, Sebastian’s breathing was slow and steady, so I figured he’d fallen asleep too. There was something so nice about falling asleep next to someone you liked—it was intimate without being sexual, which was exactly what we needed.
Well, it’s what he needed. I was up for letting things get sexy right here in this hammock. My insides warmed when I thought of the way he’d said he wanted to let me in, and they went molten when I recalled him saying he’d thought about fucking me all night. He could go from one extreme to the other so quickly. What would he be like as a lover? Sweet and tender? Rough and demanding?
And that body. My God.
My belly flipped as I let my eyes sweep over his abs and crotch and legs, and heat tingled between my thighs. I could stretch and brush my hand right there…
Stop it. You just agreed to give him time, and it’s probably been about twenty minutes.
Right. He probably meant more time than that.
Just then his hand twitched on my leg, and his breathing altered. “Mmm. Did I fall asleep?”
“Yes. But I don’t blame you. It’s so quiet and peaceful here, I fell asleep too. In fact, I could go back to sleep.” I closed my eyes, not wanting him to move yet. He trailed one finger up my thigh, sending gooseflesh rippling across my skin. God, I wanted his hands on me so badly. How long would I have to wait?
He patted my knee and got up. “I’m going to put those chairs together.”
Sighing, I watched him walk over to the two big boxes on the patio. Then I stretched out on my side in the hammock, tucking my hands beneath my face. Guess I’d have to wait a little longer, although I could think of worse ways to spend an afternoon than watching Sebastian perform manual labor outside in the heat, arm muscles flexing. I was dreamily watching him finish up the first chair when he asked if I was awake.
“Yes, just enjoying the view.”
He flashed a quick grin at me as he set the drill aside. “You said something last night I’m curious about.”
“What was it?”
“You mentioned how the voice in your head tells you you’re a failure.”
“Oh, that.” I frowned. “Yeah, it does. All the time.”
He started working on the second chair. “Why?”
Between short bursts of noise from the drill, I opened up about how I felt kind of lost at this point in my life, about how ashamed I was that I’d failed to make it as an actress, and about how my sisters’ success only served to make me feel worse. “I feel horrible saying that,” I admitted. “I’m so proud of them a
nd I’m happy they’re so good at what they do. It’s not like I begrudge them their success. I just feel bad about my lack of it.”
“But if Natalie’s business hadn’t done well, would you have called her a failure?”
“No, of course not.”
“Well, then?”
I frowned. “That’s different. That was a business. My failure feels more personal. And yet it was totally public. Add to that I got fired from the only job I’ve ever really liked and the fact that my mother told me to get a fucking life this morning!” Frustration tightened my throat, and I willed myself not to cry and spoil this nice afternoon.
“Your mother said that to you?” Sebastian stood up and looked at me with concern.
