Page 29 of Some Sort of Happy (Happy Crazy Love 1)
“You can stop doing that. I’ve gotten all your messages.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
She didn’t answer right away. “For what, Sebastian?”
Something twisted in my gut. Proposing when I wasn’t sure. Shutting you out. Refusing sex. Not making time for therapy. Not taking the meds. Overdoing alcohol. Being late for everything. Lying to you. Calling off the wedding. Breaking your heart.
The list was so endless I couldn’t even begin.
“Does my forgiveness even matter anymore?”
I swallowed. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Why?” I parroted, although it was a fair question. Diana and I were over, after all. But I hated the thought that she’d resent me for the rest of her life. I deserved it, but deep down inside, I felt like if she told me that she was able to let it go and move on, that she was happy again in spite of the pain I’d caused, then maybe it would mean that I deserved some happiness too. That I wouldn’t have to punish myself forever. “I don’t know. It just feels right to ask for it.”
“God, Sebastian. That apology sucked.”
I winced, but I also smiled a little. It reminded me of something Skylar would say. “Yeah. You know me. Not great with words.”
“That’s not true. You just don’t trust yourself to say what’s on your mind.”
Again, I thought of Skylar. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe I should work on that.”
“Are you going to therapy?”
“Yes.”
“Good. And you’re back in Michigan?”
“Yes. I built a cabin on the property I own. Where I tried to make you go camping that time, remember?”
“Oh, God. That experience still haunts me.”
I imagined her shuddering, the shake of her narrow shoulders. “Yes, city girl. You’d hate it.”
“Well, that doesn’t matter anymore. You can camp out in the woods all you want now. I’ll be here in my apartment with my doorman out front. And if I feel like flying off to Rome or Paris for a romantic vacation with my boyfriend, I can do it.”
There it was—the dig at me for being scared to fly. She never did miss an opportunity. “Sounds perfect for you.”
“It is.” She was quiet a moment. “Are you dating?”
I paused. “No.”
“Why the hesitation?”
“I don’t know. It feels weird to talk about it with you. And I’m not really dating anyone. I met someone recently, but—”
“Who is she?” she asked quickly.
“No one you’d know. Just someone I went to school with.”
“Oh. She’s from there?”
“Yeah.” On the off chance that Diana knew Skylar from that reality show, I decided to change the subject. “Anyway, it’s nothing. I barely know her.” The conversation was starting to feel a little strange, so I decided to end it. “Well, thanks for calling me back. I appreciate it. And…it’s good to talk to you.” That was true. Her low, smoky voice didn’t have the power over me it once had, but I felt relief that we were finally able to have a civil conversation. And I was glad she seemed well. Maybe I hadn’t done irreparable harm.
But she didn’t hang up. “Can I ask you a question, Sebastian?”
