Page 73 of Forked (Frenched 2)
“Sorry.” Mia put her arm around me and squeezed. “I just hate seeing you this way. And I think talking will help. No more hiding things—I still can’t believe you managed to keep your marriage and divorce secret to yourself.”
I’d confessed the full truth to Erin and caught both of them up to speed before taking the test. “I know. I should have told you, but I made up my mind in Paris to forget he even existed.” I plucked a tissue from the box and blew my nose. “Worked out really well for me, don’t you think?”
“It did, until he came prancing back into your life. He should have just left you alone,” Mia said loyally. “You deserve so much better.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that. I sought him out, remember? He probably would have left me alone.”
“I don’t know,” Erin hedged. “If he thought you were the love of his life, I don’t see how he could have stayed away forever. I mean, why even come back to Detroit in the first place? He could have gone anywhere after winning Lick My Plate. Where was he before?”
“New York,” I said. “He left for the Culinary Institute right after I left for Paris.”
“He should have stayed there.” Mia was grumpy about it. “I can’t believe Lucas likes him.”
“Everybody likes him.” I threw up my hands. “I like him, for fuck’s sake. I adore him! We have fun together and the sex, oh my God…” I flopped to my back and moaned in agony.
“That good, huh?” Erin asked.
“I can’t talk about it. I’ll cry again.”
“So why not give him another chance? He said he was sorry, and it sounds like you guys are great together. Seven years is a long time.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at her. “Is that really you saying that, Miss This Is A Very Bad Idea? You’re supposed to be my voice of reason here.”
Erin laughed. “Where’s the reason in holding a grudge for so long, especially against someone who makes you happy?”
“It’s not that easy.” I sat all the way up. “I don’t know why, but I can’t get over what he did.”
“You don’t have to.” Mia patted my leg.
“But wouldn’t you feel better if you did?” Erin persisted. “Who wants to lug around all that bitterness? All that resentment?”
“I don’t want to,” I snapped. “But I don’t know how to get rid of it. I was hoping this pregnancy would force me to do it.”
“What?” Both of them stared at me, dumbfounded.
Realizing how crazy it sounded out loud, I lowered my voice. “I was sort of hoping I was pregnant, so that I’d be forced to forgive him and get back together. That way I wouldn’t have to make the decision.”
The looks on their faces told me what they thought of that plan. “Coco,” Mia said, “I love you, but that’s ridiculous. If you want him back in your life, then let him in, but I think we can all agree it’s a good thing you’re not pregnant.”
“No, it’s not!” I jumped up from the bed, whirling around to face them, arms flying. “It’s not. You don’t understand, I needed a sign, OK? I needed the universe to tell me what to do because I’m too messed up over him to think straight! This baby was supposed to be the sign, goddammit! The Fetal Forgive My Asshole Daddy And Get On With It sign! And now there is no sign and I’m back where I started and—stop laughing!”
Mia and Erin were trying hard not to smile but Mia’s lips were smashed together tight and Erin’s shoulders were shaking. “I’m sorry,” Mia said, putting a hand over her mouth. “It’s not funny.”
I gave up the fight, my shoulders slumping. “You might as well laugh. Beats crying.”
“Oh, honey, come on. You don’t need a sign from the universe to tell you how you feel.” Mia shook her head. “You are an emotionally intuitive person. Yes, you tend to act on impulse, but clearly in this case, you’re not doing that. And we’re proud of you. Now what does your heart say?”
Sighing, I dropped back onto the bed between them. “My heart is confused. And scared.”
She nodded. “Love is terrifying. But remember when I called you from Paris because I was scared about how I was falling for Lucas?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember what you said?”
“’I’m jealous?’”
She laughed, nudging me with her leg. “No.
