Page 85 of Imperfect Match (Imperfect Match 1)
“Do you want to look for that prize sperm?”
I want to look for a dark cave to crawl into. I want to go back in time and stand my ground. I want to find his parents and knock them upside their heads.
Aspen claps her hands and squeals. “Look, here’s one who likes yoga and camping, and he makes his own jewelry, clothing, and leathercraft!”
I laugh as I sniff back the remainder of my tears. “I don’t like any of those things.”
She stares into space for a moment. “True. Maybe I should have a baby with him.”
I roll my eyes. “Look, Aspen, I changed my mind. I’m not really in the right headspace to choose a donor yet. Let’s give it a few days.”
“Okay. Suit yourself.”
I go back to my desk and try to keep my mind off Reid by clearing out my inbox, listening to voice mails, responding to inquiries, and setting up client interviews, but it’s hopeless. By lunchtime, I’m so miserable I can’t even be at work anymore.
I make some excuse to Aspen, which I’m sure she sees through, and go home early. Back in my apartment, I put on my pajamas, wrap myself in a blanket, and curl up on the couch with a box of tissues, a pint of Chunky Monkey, and a Jane Austen marathon on TCM. But even Mr. Darcy doesn’t make me feel better. And Willoughby … God, Willoughby just crushes what’s left of my soul.
How am I ever going to get over losing the love of my life and my best friend in one crushing blow?
The following afternoon, I’m still lying on the couch in a vegetative state when I hear a knock on my apartment door.
I didn’t even attempt to go to work this morning. Sleep was fleeting last night, and when I did finally get rest, my dreams were filled with a little dark-haired, blue-eyed baby boy.
Needless to say, that dream will never come true.
The knock sounds again.
I don’t care who it is. If it’s Reid, I have nothing to say. If it’s Leo, I don’t want to see him. If it’s my sister, well, I’m not in the mood.
“Leave it at the door.”
“I will not.” The voice is probably the only one that can make me move. “Open this door right now, Willow.”
“Give me a second, Mom.”
I look around the apartment and know there’s nothing I could do to cover up my misery. There are candy wrappers, empty ice cream containers, and chip bags on the table. I’m in the same clothes I wore yesterday, and God only knows what my face looks like.
Whatever.
I keep the blanket around me as I shuffle to the door and open it. “Hi.”
“Oh, dear God,” she says as she enters. “Your sister told me what happened.”
“Good, then I don’t have to explain it.”
“Can you explain why you’re not at work?”
I look at my mother in her crisp black dress with a pair of red heels and the beautiful pearls that hang on her neck. She’s the epitome of class and poise. I’ve always admired that about her. She must be looking at me right now wondering how I came from her.
“I’m dead inside. That’s why I’m not at work.”
She sighs. “You’re not dead inside. You’re hurting, and I’m sorry for that. No mother wants to see her little girl in pain.”
I shake my head while falling back on the couch. “Stupid love and my stupid heart. Stupid boys and their stupid inability to see what they have. I should’ve stayed single, so I wouldn’t have to struggle like this.”
“Did you think it was going to be easy, Willow? Did you think your heart couldn’t be hurt when you fell in love?”
“No,” I admit. “I knew it could hurt.”
