Page 88 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
“Yes,” I murmured, holding him tighter, lifting my hips to meet his quickening thrusts. “Oh God, don’t stop.” My mind and body were spiraling out of control together. The closer I got to the summit, the more of the future I could see.
Forever was right there in front of me, unspooling like a ribbon.
Every wish would be granted. Every wrong would be righted. Every dream that had died would be fulfilled. As long as I had him, I could have everything.
I couldn’t lose him.
But you will. Because you need him now. Because you let him in. Because you gave away your heart when you should have guarded it. Because you refused to see the truth even when it has been right in front of your face the whole time—love isn’t enough to protect you.
And forever is only a lie.
“Don’t leave me,” I begged, my body on the verge of climax, my mind on the brink of hysteria.
“Never,” he said between rasping breaths. “I’ll never leave you.” We reached the apex and hurtled over the edge together, clutching and cursing and straining to get closer as our bodies released the tension in perfect harmony.
“I love you,” he said as we caught our breath.
“I love you, too.”
I was staring at the ceiling in the dark, wondering where all the stars had gone.
A little later, Wes curled himself around me just like Drew used to do. Knees tucked under mine. An arm around my waist. His chest pressed against my back. It was exactly what I’d wanted. It felt warm and cozy and familiar. I’d missed it desperately.
It terrified me.
I wouldn’t be alone tonight, but tomorrow night was a different story. After that, it could be weeks. I’d lie here missing him and wishing we could be together, having no idea when that might actually happen, if it happened at all. I’d be sad. Worried. Lonely.
Because I’d let myself need him. After everything I’d been through, after everything life had thrown at me, after all I’d done to recover my strength. After all the time I’d spent and tears I’d cried putting the pieces of my broken heart back together again, I’d set it on the edge of the highest shelf.
Was I insane?
I chewed on the tip of my thumb, eyes wide open. Behind me, Wes’s breathing was deep and even, as if he were already asleep.
I’ll never leave you, he’d said, and I wanted to believe him. With every bone in my body, I wanted to. But Drew had said the same thing. Drew had made promises he meant but couldn’t keep. Drew had believed he was invincible, and maybe he’d been punished for it.
Maybe I’d be punished for falling in love with his brother.
I slammed my eyes shut.
Stop it, Hannah. Just stop, before you have a panic attack. You’re being paranoid and crazy and ridiculous. Nothing bad is going to happen.
But it took me a long time to fall asleep.
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of rain on the roof even before my alarm went off. Immediately I glanced to my right. Wes had rolled onto his back during the night, and he was sleeping with one arm thrown over his head, the covers down around his waist. I felt a tug of arousal deep inside me as I took in his handsome face and bare chest, the hand resting on the pillow, the scruffy jaw. There was plenty of time. I didn’t have to be at work for two more hours. I could snuggle up to him, slip my hand between his legs, press my lips to his chest while I stroked him beneath the covers. I liked thinking about the surprised smile that
would curve his lips, the way he’d look at me when he’d open those gorgeous green eyes. Well, good morning, I bet he’d say, his low voice a little gravelly. I wanted that. I wanted all of that.
But instead of touching him, I carefully got out of bed without waking him, made sure my alarm wouldn’t go off, and snuck into the shower.
I probably didn’t have that much time, anyway, I thought as I rinsed out my shampoo. I’d probably have been late for work. And what was the sense in enjoying a rainy morning in bed together when I didn’t know when we’d ever get another one? An addict knows she can’t just take one hit. Why torture myself with the memory?
But I was torturing myself with the fantasy when I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
“Come in,” I said.
A moment later, Wes peeked around the curtain. “Hi.”
I had to smile at his hair. “Hi.”
