Page 78 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
“Yes. I don’t want you to park around the block and have to sneak over like some criminal.”
“I don’t mind, if it protects you.”
“Just do it. It will make me feel better.”
He smiled and did as I asked, then waited downstairs while I put Abby to bed.
“Is Uncle Wes still here?” she asked as I turned out the lamp.
“Yes.”
“I like when he’s here.”
“Me too.”
“It makes me feel cozy.”
I smiled. “Good.”
“And safe,” she added.
My smile faded a little. “You’re safe no matter what, baby. I’m always here.”
“I know. But sometimes you’re sad at night.”
My stomach clenched. She’d heard me crying. “Sometimes I do get sad at night. That’s true. But it doesn’t mean you’re not safe. It’s just Mommy trying to get better.”
“You’re better when Uncle Wes is here. You’re not sad.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Maybe he can move in with us,” she suggested. “Then you would never be sad and I can always feel safe. We could be a family.”
“Oh, Abby.” I closed my eyes, wishing I could stop time and think of the best way to handle this. Why wasn’t there a Single Widowed Parent Handbook for these moments? “We are a family. You and me.”
“But a family needs a dad.”
“Not necessarily. I didn’t h
ave a dad, remember?”
She thought for a second. “Were you sad about that?”
“Sometimes,” I said honestly. “But I had my mom and I knew she loved me with all her heart, the way I love you.”
“But can he move in?”
Apparently all my heart was not enough. “No, Abby. Uncle Wes just bought his own house, remember?”
“He could sell that one.”
I smiled sadly. “Listen. The important thing is that you are loved and safe and sound here with me, okay? Whether Uncle Wes or anybody else is here or not.”
“Okay. Can you send him up to say goodnight?”
I hesitated, but gave in. “Sure.”
As I walked downstairs, I felt that pit open up in my stomach again. Abby was falling in love with Wes right along with me. Could I blame her for feeling safer and happier when he was around? Wasn’t I? But I had to be careful. What if she grew so attached to him she stopped feeling safe when he wasn’t around? As much as Wes and I felt for each other, there was no guarantee this would work. We couldn’t even go out for dinner or hold hands in public, let alone spend a night together or share a home. How could I protect Abby from hurt when I couldn’t even protect myself?
