Page 48 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
“No! It’s wrong. I feel like I’ve dishonored Drew’s memory, and it’s the only thing I have left. Look, we were lonely, okay? We were lonely and we miss him and we just wanted to feel close to each other, so we could feel close to him.” I said it firmly, as if I believed it.
“This wasn’t about Drew for me,” he said quietly.
My heart squeezed. “Well, it was for me,” I lied.
He came closer to me, nearly chest to chest. His eyes pinned mine. “I don’t believe you.”
I was scared he was going to kiss me and I wouldn’t have the strength to resist, but he didn’t.
Five seconds later, he was gone.
I shut the door behind him and leaned back against it, exhaling in relief. I was safe.
But relief was short-lived. Once I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my shoulders, the house seemed more empty than it had ever been, and I sobbed into my pillow.
He was so good and sweet and beautiful. And maybe he really did want me.
But I couldn’t fall for him. I just couldn’t. For so many reasons. Because he was Drew’s brother. Because it would be too confusing for Abby. Because no one would accept us.
And because life had taught me no matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, happily ever after was only an illusion. A beautiful distraction from the tragedy that was love, that was life.
There was no eternity.
Everything came to an end.
Ten
HANNAH
I was a red-eyed zombie at work the next morning, where again I was glad it was Pete sharing my shift and not Georgia since I felt like a scarlet letter was branded on my forehead. The one thing I felt unadulterated joy about was that I got my period this afternoon. Thank God, I thought. Could I blame PMS for any of this craziness?
For once, I was glad it was Lenore who answered my knock when I went to get Abby. But when she invited me in for iced tea, I hesitated. I couldn’t handle seeing Wes. Not yet.
“If you’re too busy for tea, maybe another time.”
“No, no. I’m not too busy. I just… I was just thinking.” About banging your son. No, the other one. I tried to shove the image out of my mind. “I’d like to come in for tea, thank you.” The last thing I wanted was to give Lenore any ammunition against me when things seemed to be going better between us. And Wes and I couldn’t avoid each other forever.
Abby was in the great room playing Barbies on the coffee table. “Hi, Mommy!”
“Hi, sweetie.” I went over and gave her a quick hug. “Did you have a good night?”
“Mmhm. And we made the pancakes again this morning!”
“We did,” Lenore said. “And she’s such a big help to her Nana in the kitchen!”
“Good girl.” I ruffled her hair and followed Lenore into the kitchen, where she took a pitcher of homemade sweet tea from the fridge and poured us both a glass.
“How’s business at the inn?” she asked, sticking the pitcher back in the fridge.
“Good.” I took a seat at the island, glancing at the corner where Wes and I had shared crepes last weekend. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Hannah?” Lenore was looking at me quizzically, and I realized she’d asked me a question.
“I’m sorry. I got distracted. What did you say?”
“I wondered if you’ll take some time off now that summer is over.” She began pulling things from the pantry and fridge—flour, garlic powder, salt and pepper, eggs.
“Probably not until closer to November. I think they’ll need me up until then.”
