Page 37 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
Make me laugh too, I begged silently. Make me smile. Make me feel things again like you did yesterday. Take this pain away. Take this loneliness. Take this suffering. I’m so tired of being alone.
For a moment, I let myself fantasize—not that Wes was Drew, but that Wes was my husband and Abby’s father. That it was Wes who’d asked me out all those years ago. That it was Wes who’d swept me off my feet, married me, shared my bed every single night.
It was Wes whose hands would undress me later, whose mouth would roam over my bare skin, whose body would move over mine until we were shuddering and clinging and crying out in the dark together—
Together. Together. Together.
My heart began to pound. I could hardly stand still. My hands were trembling. When they came inside and Abby asked if Wes could read her a story after her bath, I hid them behind my back and nodded yes without thinking.
“I have a quick phone call to make,” he said, looking at me a little strangely. “I’ll be out on the porch. Give me a shout when you’re ready.”
Upstairs, I put Abby through the motions of her bedtime routine, unable to think about anything other than the fantasy I’d concocted at the kitchen window.
I knew it was wrong.
But I wanted it. I wanted it so badly.
When Abby had brushed her teeth and I’d combed out her hair, she put on her pajamas and got in bed. “Send Uncle Wes up, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll come in and say goodnight when he’s done.”
“Okay.”
Out on the porch, Wes was just ending his call. “Thanks so much, Brad. I’ll see you tomorrow at six. Yep. Bye.” He tucked his phone in his pocket.
“She’s ready for you.” I stared at his face and imagined my lips moving along the scruff on his jaw, my hands sliding into his hair.
“Thanks. Should I just go up?”
“Sure. Her room is on the left at the top of the stairs.”
“Okay. You alright?” Two lines appeared between his brows.
“Fine.”
He didn’t believe me, I could tell, but he went up the stairs, and I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. While it steeped, I sat at the table, my leg jittering nervously. Stop it. Just stop it. Sex with your brother-in-law is not a good cure for loneliness.
No matter how hot he was. Or how sweet to your daughter. Or how well he understood you.
Or how badly you suddenly wanted it.
Good God, was I losing my mind?
I sipped my tea and stared at my hands on the cup. Listened to the tick of the clock. Prayed he’d leave quickly once he came down.
About five minutes later, I heard his feet on the stairs. I bolted up from my chair, setting the cup down so hard, tea spilled onto the table. I left it.
We met on the landing, nearly bumping chests. He stepped aside. “She’s all yours.”
“Okay. Thanks for reading to her.” Say goodnight, Hannah. But I said nothing, just hurried up the steps to Abby’s room.
I sat on her bed and switched off her lamp. “How was the story?”
“Good.” She hugged her elephant.
“Want to ask me a question?”
“I already asked Uncle Wes a question.”
