Page 21 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
“Just for a minute. Please.”
She looked uncomfortable, but she pulled out the chair adjacent to mine and sort of perched on the edge of it. Immediately, she began fussing with her wedding ring, a delicate band of tiny diamonds on the fourth finger of her left hand. I’d noticed her doing that a couple times last night too, a nervous habit. I felt bad I made her feel that way.
“I know this isn’t easy for you. Seeing me.”
She swallowed, and her eyes flicked toward me. “No. It isn’t.”
“I understand. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have waited so long to come home.”
“No, I—”
I touched her forearm. “Let me say this. I couldn’t say it last night because…I don’t know. Because I was nervous. And you were nervous. And I didn’t want to make things any more upsetting for you. But I feel sick that I stayed away so long. It was selfish—it was me not wanting to face life without my brother. Over there, it was easier to pretend I wouldn’t have to.” If it wasn’t the whole truth, it was at least half of it. The half I could admit to, anyway.
“I get that, believe me.”
“But I feel like I abandoned you and Abby and my parents. And I’m sorry. Things are going to be different from now on.”
“Last night after you left, Abby asked me if I was sure you weren’t Drew,” Hannah blurted.
It felt like a punch in the stomach. “Oh, God. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. None of this is your fault.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I just don’t want her to be confused. It’s…it’s confusing to see you. For her, I mean. I think we shouldn’t come over today.”
“But don’t you think that’s exactly why you should come over?”
“What do you mean?”
“The best way to clear up confusion would be to get to know me as her uncle, right? She needs to see me as myself, not as a substitute for Drew.”
“Maybe,” Hannah hedged.
“And I think talking about Drew would help, too. To clearly differentiate us in her mind. After all, we were pretty different in a lot of ways.”
A little smile. “Yes.”
I wrapped my hand around her wrist on the table. “Come today. Please. Bring Abby and we’ll have fun and tell her about her dad when he was a kid and celebrate life. I need that.” Until I voiced the sentiment to her, I hadn’t even realized it was the truth.
She stared at my hand on her skin, but I didn’t let go. “Okay. We’ll come. Can I bring something?”
“Just you and Abby.”
“Come on. Let me contribute. Potato salad?”
Remembering what I’d told my mother, I hesitated. But I didn’t want to say no to Hannah. “Sure.”
She’d seen my hesitation. “You don’t like potato salad?”
“No, I do.”
“Do you like curry? Drew hated it, but I have this recipe for curried potato salad that I really like.”
“I love curry.”
She smiled, looking genuinely happy for the first time this morning.
The door to the kitchen swung open and Georgia peeked out. Immediately I retracted my hand. “Hey, Wes. Heard you were here.”
I stood up and we met halfway across the room, exchanging a hug. “Good to see you, Georgia.”
