Page 67 of If You Were Mine (After We Fall 3)
“Ah.” My brother understood. “You haven’t told her about the conviction.”
“No. Somehow I never worked up the nerve.” I shook my head, hating the part that came next. “So I bailed. I said some asshole shit and took off.”
“Why? Do you think it will be a deal breaker if you told her the truth?”
“Maybe. And I’d understand if it was. But it’s more than that,” I admitted. “The way she looks at me, the way she trusts me—it’s crazy how good it makes me feel.”
“And you don’t want to lose that,” Aaron said. “You think if she knew the truth she’d never look at you that way again. Never trust you.”
“Why should she?”
“Because you’ll earn it.” Josie set her cup down and leaned forward. “I’m not saying it will be easy, but if you really like her, it’s worth a try, right?”
“But what’s the point?” I argued. “Why go through the trouble of getting her to trust me when I’ll just fuck it up another way later on? When have I ever been able to keep a good thing going?”
“I don’t know the answer to that,” she said. “But I’ve also never heard you talk this way about anyone.”
“Me either,” said Aaron.
“Do you want to be with her?” Josie asked.
“I think so.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Yes.”
“Then give her the chance to accept you,” she urged. “And give yourself the chance to be happy with her. To keep the good thing going, like you said.”
“You mean go to her and tell her the truth? Ask for another chance?”
“Yes,” she said firmly. “But you have to apologize for being an asshole and you have to mean it. You have to ask for another chance to do things right.”
“But won’t I just give her the chance to shoot me down?”
She shrugged. “Guess that’s a risk you’ll have to be willing to take. And don’t do this if you don’t want to follow through.” Her voice got a little sharper. “No woman wants to be lied to, Theo. If all you want is sex and hanging out, say it. Maybe she’ll be cool with that. But if she wants more and you don’t—”
“I think I do, though,” I blurted. It was kind of a relief to say it out loud, to admit that I actually had feelings for her that went beyond sex. “But I need to be sure. I don’t want to hurt her again.”
“Take some time to think, then.” She smiled. “You’ll figure it out.”
Aaron stood up. “I’m going to check on the kids. If they’re asleep, we can bring out the gifts.”
After he left the room, Josie spoke softly but her tone was steel. “Be a man, Theo. Just like you told Aaron to do. Be a man who owns his mistakes and takes responsibility for who he is. For who he wants to be.”
Aaron came back in the room, smiling. “Out cold.”
I rose to my feet. “Thanks,” I said quietly to Josie. “I appreciate it.”
Following Aaron to the basement, I helped him carry up the presents, and we spread them around under the tree while Josie took the plate of cookies and carrots the girls had set out into the kitchen.
“Not much, is it?” My brother grimaced. “I’ll do better next year.”
I put a hand on his back. “It’s more than we had at their age. And they’re happy kids, Aaron. I’ve never seen them happier than they were tonight.”
“I don’t deserve them, or Josie.” His voice was raw with emotion and he sniffed. “I knew just what you meant when you talked about the way that girl looks at you. I’m so damn lucky.”
“You are,” I agreed.
“Ever think about it? Having a family?”
“No.”
