Page 26 of If You Were Mine (After We Fall 3)
I couldn’t let that happen.
Ten
Claire
* * *
Whoa. Whoa.
I’d almost kissed him. My rent-a-date.
I touched a hand to my stomach and caught my breath. My pulse was thundering in my ears. Had I lost my mind? He didn’t want to kiss me—this was all just a show! And I’d been enjoying it way too much. The private smiles we’d exchanged, the sweet things he’d said about me, the arm around the back of my chair, the kiss on the cheek. I was starstruck by him, a little girl with a crush on her favorite actor. How embarrassing that I’d puckered up like that!
And how maddeningly unfair that the first guy I’d felt a spark with in years was only spending time with me because I was paying him.
Suddenly I realized I was standing there alone on the dance floor like a statue, and I quickly headed for the lobby bathroom. Through the glass entry doors, I saw Theo standing outside near the valet stand, and for a moment I was terrified that I’d freaked him out so much he was going to take off on me.
You idiot! I shoved open the ladies room door and locked myself into a stall. Were you thinking it was real? It’s not! Everything tonight has been fake!
At that moment, I realized part of me had been thinking it was real. On one level, I’d known why he was here, but on another, I’d felt real chemistry with him. A real attraction. I’d started to hope for more.
And wasn’t it just like me to get caught up in this as if it were one of my Hallmark romances! But it wasn’t. And those things didn’t happen to me. Despite the red lipstick and the lacey dress and the tumble-down hair, I was still Claire French, art teacher. Girl Scout volunteer. Wallflower.
His voice echoed in my ears. You don’t have to be anyone else. You just have to stop staring over the edge and jump.
Theo didn’t get it. He’d probably never been scared of anything in his life. He was so cool and detached, just wandering around the country flying planes and escorting lonely women to weddings. He didn’t understand what it was like to have your whole heart set on something and be too afraid of failure to go for it.
Even the near kiss felt like a failure, one I wasn’t sure how to recover from. Did I just pretend it hadn’t happened? I closed my eyes and leaned back against the stall door, fighting tears. Things had been going so well—in fact, it was the most fun I’d had on a date in… Jesus, maybe ever! And it was all fake.
Get over it, Claire. This thing is done. You’re never going to see him again, and that’s that. What could ever come of it, anyway? He’s not what you want. Now buck up enough moxie to get out of this bathroom, face him, and go home.
Sighing, I pushed myself off the wall and left the stall, stopping for a moment to wash my hands. In the mirror over the sink, I noticed some lipstick on my teeth and watched my cheeks flame with embarrassment. God, couldn’t I do anything right? I grabbed a tissue and wiped off the smudge, then angrily tried to rub off as much of the color as I could. Who was I kidding? I’d never been audacious a day in my life.
I tossed the tissue in the trash and left the bathroom, doing my best to hold my head high, even though all I wanted to do was curl up on my couch with a fuzzy blanket, the remote, and a box of Moose Munch.
At least Theo hadn’t left. He was sitting back at the table, and he stood when I approached.
“Hey,” he said, his mouth curving into a smile. “I thought I’d lost you.”
“Oh, she’ll never let you get away,” said Fran. “It took her too long to find you.”
I managed a wry smile, even though it sort of felt like a joke at my expense. “Sorry. I was in the bathroom.”
“Better not leave this one alone for too long,” teased Fran. “I noticed a lot of women checking him out.”
“I only have eyes for Claire.” Theo winked at me, but I was over this game.
“I’m actually not feeling very well. Are you ready to go?” I asked him as I picked up my purse from my chair.
“Of course. Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.” Not that you really care.
Turning to my colleagues who were left at the table, I said goodnight and told them I’d see them Monday. Without waiting for Theo, I began marching toward the coat check. I heard him say it was nice meeting them and he hoped to see them again soon—ha!—and felt his hand inside my elbow a moment later.
“Hey,” he said, gently pulling my arm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Even I was surprised at my poker face. “I’m just ready to go home.” His face fell, and for a moment I felt a twinge of doubt. Maybe he did care. But a second, later his expression was blank.
