Page 103 of If You Were Mine (After We Fall 3)
He shut the door behind me. “Hi.”
“Hi.” My body reacted to his nearness as if nothing had gone wrong between us. My stomach fluttered. My breath caught. Goosebumps rippled down my arms. I pressed them to my sides so I wouldn’t throw them around his neck. God, I missed you. Say something—anything—to help me understand.
He shook his head slowly, his eyes drinking me in. “I rehearsed this a thousand times. I had things to open with. Words of apology. Reasons why you should hear me out. But looking at you, all I can think is, She’s so damn beautiful.”
“Not a terrible start,” I conceded stiffly, leaning back against my car for support. “But not good enough.”
“I know. Give me a second.” He exhaled, his breath a silvery puff in the cold, shadowy dusk of the garage. “You were right. The argument we had the morning I left, you were right—I was running away because I was scared. Because I don’t know how to trust. Because I didn’t have the guts to own up to any of it. And I’m sorry.”
“You hurt me.” My bottom lip trembled. “I gave you my heart, Theo, and you stomped all over it.”
“I want it back.” He took my head in his hands, and his eyes pleaded with mine. “I love you. I love you. I’ve never said those words to anyone in my entire life. And I've never said them to you before now because I was scared to give you that kind of power over me. I guarded them, because I felt like handing them over would give you weapons to use against me.”
He loves me! He said it! His words were putting serious chinks in the armor, but still. Weapons? “Theo, I’d never hurt you like that. You should have talked to me.”
“I didn’t know how. So I panicked. Bolted. Tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing, but being apart from you didn’t feel right at all. It just felt miserable.”
He did look miserable. And sincere
. And different—something about the way he was meeting my eyes. I saw no mask on his face, no studied indifference, no panic. Just clarity. Devotion. Truth. I felt myself swaying toward him. “I’ve been miserable too.”
“I’ve done a lot of thinking, Claire. About all the things I’ve been through. The things I never talk about. The things that make me who I am.” His thumbs brushed my cheekbones. “I was wrong to think that by burying them, they wouldn’t affect me. In fact, it was the opposite.”
“I could see it,” I whispered, my throat tight. “But I didn’t know how to help.”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t ready to let you, until now.”
I bit my lip.
“Tell me it’s not too late,” he begged. “Tell me you still love me.”
“I still love you, Theo, but—”
He crushed his lips to mine, and I nearly melted at his feet. Maybe I should have been angry, pushed him away, told him he didn’t have the right. But I’d missed this. The tingle in my toes. The butterflies in my stomach. The shiver up my spine that said yes kiss me yes hold me yes be mine completely because all I want to be is yours.
He lifted his head, and it took me a moment to open my eyes and realize I was still on two feet.
“God, I missed hearing that.” A little smile on his lips. “I missed everything about you. And if you still love me, Claire, please give me one more chance.”
“I want to, Theo, but I’m scared. How do I know you won’t hurt me like that again?”
“You don’t.” His brow furrowed. “Believe me, I tried my damnedest to think of a way to prove it to you. Words I could say. Things I could do. Promises I could make. But it all comes down to this.” He took my hands in his. “I’m asking you to trust me. And I’m going to trust you, too.”
“But what’s different this time?”
“What’s different is that I had to live without you in my life for the last ten days. And I hated it. With you, I’m stronger. Braver. Better.” He spoke a little quieter. “With you, I know I’m safe. I can be who I am.”
“Yes.” I smiled up at him, tears in my eyes. “You can.”
He kissed me again. “Come here.” Taking me by one hand, he led me out of the garage, around the front of the house, and up the steps onto the porch, where a beautiful wooden porch swing hung from silver chains, swaying a little in the wind.
I gasped, bringing my gloved hands to my cheeks. “Oh my God!”
“I made it for you.”
“You made this?” I moved closer, detecting the scent of fresh cedar. I took off my glove and ran a hand along its smooth, narrow boards. No one had ever made me anything like this before.
“I hope it’s as nice as the one you dream about in your future.”
