Page 91 of After We Fall (After We Fall 2)
“Fuck you,” I said. But my heart throbbed. I wanted to hear his voice so badly.
What if he’d changed his mind? What if he was calling to apologize? What if he’d realized we deserved a chance?
I grabbed the phone. Whoa. Stay calm. Summoning Old Margot, I took a breath and accepted the call.
“Hello.”
“Hey.” His voice cracked, and so did some of my composure. “How are you?”
Be strong. No tears tonight. “Fine,” I said coolly.
“That’s good.”
Silence. My patience wore thin. “What do you want, Jack?”
“Just to hear you.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed. So this wasn’t an apology call. Damn him! “Why? To torture yourself?”
“I guess.”
“I’m not playing these games, Jack.” My voice wavered. “If you want to wallow in your own pain, you go right ahead, but I will not contribute to it. It hurts me too much.”
“I’m sorry, Margot. I never meant to hurt you. I want so fucking badly to be someone else right now.”
I bit my lip so hard I expected to taste blood. “I wouldn’t want anyone else! How can you not see that?”
“You say that now, but you don’t know what it’s like to be with me.” His voice was stronger. Angry, even.
“Because you won’t show me! You’re a coward! I don’t even know what it is you’re so afraid of! All I know is that you’re throwing away the chance to be happy, and you’re taking it away from me.”
“I’m sparing you!” he blurted.
“You’re sparing yourself! It’s going to take work to move on, Jack. I know that. And I know it wouldn’t be easy.” I softened my voice. “But I’d be there for you. Don’t you want to try?”
Silence. “You’d never be happy with me.”
I took a breath and put my heart out there one more time, praying he didn’t crush it. “Give me the chance to prove you wrong, Jack. I won’t ask again.”
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I want to, but I fucking can’t.”
I lost the battle not to cry, and hot tears spilled down my cheeks. “Then say goodbye, because this is all we will ever be.”
“Margot, please—”
“Hang up!” I yelled. “I want it very clear that it’s you who’s walking away, Jack. It’s you who thinks you couldn’t love me.”
“I know I could love you,” he said without hesitation, his voice full of anguish. “I just don’t deserve to.”
I steadied myself. Willed myself to stay calm. “Then say goodbye, and hang up.”
I held my breath, hanging on to one tiny thread of hope that he’d say something—anything—other than goodbye.
But he didn’t.
Thirty-Three
Jack
