Page 100 of After We Fall (After We Fall 2)
He nodded slowly and he lowered my arm and took my hand again. “What did Muffy say?”
“She thinks I’m crazy.”
He met my eyes and we both smiled. Some of my doubt dissipated. This feels so good. Please let it be real.
“You know, it’s funny you decided I was right about something,” he said. “I’ve been wrong about most everything.” He looked down at our hands for a moment, stroked the back of mine with his thumb.
“You were right. That night in the cabin.” His eyes met mine. “I did feel something for you.”
I couldn’t breathe.
“I’d started to feel so much for you that it scared me. I felt like I was losing control, like I was losing myself. I panicked. Retreated. Tried to put up walls. But…” He lifted his shoulders. “It was too late.”
“It was?”
“Yes. What I felt didn’t go away just because I tried to shut you out. I didn’t feel stronger or more in control after you left. Hurting myself was one thing, but hurting you made me feel cruel and weak. I felt like I’d crushed something frail and young and beautiful that couldn’t fight back.”
“That’s exactly what you did.” He needed to know how I felt too. “And all I could do was watch. I felt something for you. I felt something between us. But what could I do? I asked you to take a chance on me, and you said no. Twice!” My nose tingled and I fought against tears.
Jack shook his head, his eyes full of pain. “I’m sorry, Margot. I hated myself for saying no. I wanted to say yes so badly. I missed you constantly. I kept thinking about the way I felt when I was with you. I imagined what my life would be like with you in it, and I agonized over the choice I’d made to be alone.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Finally, I realized how stupid I was being. How wrong I’d been to walk away from you. How much I wanted to give you that chance you asked for.” He took both my hands in his and squeezed tight. “I came here hoping you’d still be willing to give me one.”
My fears were unraveling, but I had to ask. “How do I know you’re serious now? How do I know you’re not going to panic and put up walls again?”
He squeezed my hand. “You don’t. That’s a chance you’ll have to take on me. But I’m begging you to take it.”
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “You’re ready? To move on, I mean?”
He nodded, looked me right in the eye. “Yes. In the last few weeks, I’ve made some really good progress.”
“Like what?”
“I went back to therapy. I cleaned out the cabin. And I said goodbye,” he finished quietly.
I knew what he meant, and it made me smile through tears.
He smiled too. “I want a new start, Margot. And I want you there with me. Say you’ll give me a chance.”
“Oh, Jack,” I said softly. “That’s all I ever wanted. I know I can’t be your first love, but—”
“Shh.” He put a finger over my lips. “I’m not looking for my first love. I’m looking for my last.”
He leaned over and put his lips on mine. It was a sweet, soft, still kiss—but it was more than that. It was an apology, a promise, a new start. It spoke of letting go, of moving on, of falling in love. I shivered, and Jack put an arm around me. “You cold?”
“Not at all,” I said, feeling warmth flow throughout my body. “Now I want to know how you found me.”
Jack grinned sheepishly. “Your friend Jaime.”
“Jaime!” I yelped. “She said she was too sick to come tonight!”
“She gave me her ticket.”
I shook my head, trying to piece it together. “So you called her?”
“Yes. Last night. I was trying to think of a way to surprise you, and Georgia gave me her number.”
I giggled, my whole body tingling. “Oh my God, this happened in one night? It worked. I’m surprised.”
He just smiled at me for a moment, almost a little sadly. “I missed that laugh. I was scared I’d never hear it again.”
