Yet…
He couldn’t just go back to his room, even after telling himself that. Instead, he stalked back and forth outside her door. Like a wolf denied his meal.
And eventually, he found his hand on the second bedroom’s knob.
To his surprise, it turned without resistance. She hadn’t locked the door here as she had in Delaware.
She’d left it open for him. And perhaps…
Perhaps that was a sign.
Taking a deep breath, Han ventured inside and found her lying on her bed, her whole body facing the open lanai doors. And the ocean beyond—the one he’d just denied her.
A wave of empathy washed through him, like the Delaware sea spitting up pebbles and rocks even as he went straight to the window and firmly slid closed the glass door.
When he turned back around, he discovered her eyes were open. And resentful.
“It wasn’t safe,” he explained.
Instead of answering, she turned over in bed, giving him her back.
This was pointless. He should go…
Her words from their forced Valentine’s date suddenly floated back to him. “But you don’t do that with women, do you? You don’t try.”
No, he didn’t. He took, and he seduced, and he possessed, but….
He never tried. He’d always been too proud, too aware of how much it would hurt to take a hit if he lowered his shields. But Jasmine, he decided right then and there, was worth loosening his grip on that shield of pride.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on her back. “I know I have upset you, and I am sorry about that.”
He swallowed, trying to find more words, the right words. “I do not want you to feel like my possession, and I do not want us to go another three months without talking. I am willing to endure that again if it means protecting you, but I do not want that for us. That was miserable for me, and I think maybe you too.”
Her back stiffened underneath his hand. Stubborn resolve settling in like concrete, he thought, but then she said, “Yeah, I hated that too, but….”
She turned underneath his hand to face him. “I guess I see your point. What happened to Dawn…it’s so horrible after everything they went through. But surfing was the one thing—the one thing you never took, even after Delaware.”
His heart squeezed sad and tight, feeling her hurt as if it was his own. He hated that he was the reason for that pain. “It is only until we track down Yaron,” he promised. “Then you can go back to your classes.”
“How long will that take?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Most of K Diamond’s men have come to our side, but he still has the advantage of home territory. And we don’t have the police in our pocket here yet as he does. So it is easy for him to hide.”
She considered his words. “Thanks for being honest. I guess I’ll wait until I can teach again. I was supposed to go to my sister's and Rashid’s for Christmas dinner. They’re having a bunch of people over, but I don’t know how to explain why I can’t come.”
“I understand.” And Han decided the next thing at the same time he announced it. “I’ll make arrangements to keep you safe while you’re there.”
“Thanks, but I wouldn’t know how to explain me showing up with bodyguards either,” Jasmine told him. “I mean, I’ve barely been able to keep us a secret from them this long.”
The past twisted in Han’s chest. She wanted to keep him a secret, just as his father had kept him a secret from the outside world.
But he tamped those old, useless feelings down and cupped her face to assure her, “We can post them discreetly outside where no one can see. If this is the one event you need to attend, it can be arranged.”
Her expression softened, and something loosened inside his stomach when she laid her hand on top of his.
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted. And thank you for protecting me.”
“Don’t be sorry. You love what you do,” he answered. Coming to her defense felt as natural as breathing. “And I will always protect you whenever it is required. You mean very much to me.”
She gave him a little smile, sad and wry. “Because of what I did in Delaware.”
“Yes,” he answered. Though, he didn’t understand the sadness in her eyes. Did she not like that he admired her courage and loyalty?
He opened his mouth to ask, but she sat up in the bed before he could. The sadness in her eyes gave way to mischief. “You know, I think my room is actually the only place in this condo where we haven’t had sex. Do you think we should fix that?”
She asked him this, then she looked straight at him…and licked her lips.
